re: UPDATE: GUILTY... To those of you who have supported me these past five years...

Damn, I've just spent the past hour reading this whole thread. We don't know each other Corkfather but between the events you experienced that night, battling drugs, dealing with the economy and now your physical problems you could easily be a bitter man. Thinking about this all at once IS overwhelming. That is why I hope you can cntinue to "compartmentalize it" as you said. Pull out bits and pieces of this story, a little at a time, hammer away at it for a little while and then put it away.

This has been my experience: I stay bitter if I focus on the negative of my past too much and I waste a lot of time on the future, "waiting for the day when (fill in the blank". For me, taking it one day at a time is too long. I do well to just stay in the moment.

I hope you can find financial security, I hope you can know you are supported and I hope you can find ways to help others. You have quite a story that could help others.