re: 9 reasons Cops are Idiots (not a cop bash thread)

1) Popular culture says so.
Pop culture these days will try to tell you we’re all dirty, racist, hateful, bigoted, sexist pricks with an ego complex that would rival Greek gods. (Granted that last one is accurate, but I base that solely on the fact that my hair is f’n incredible.) Only an idiot would sign up to be seemingly unilaterally reviled.

2) Cops run toward danger.
Huge bar fight? Man with a gun? Domestic violence with screaming and blood? Most people run quickly in the opposite direction. I would argue that those who run toward that kind of thing are idiots with little concept of self-preservation.

3) Cops get assaulted, but the suspect sues and wins.
True story. I once stopped two drunk folks after they stumbled through a construction zone past a freeway off-ramp in an attempt to prevent them from getting killed. They were so appreciative that while I was trying to restrain one, the other jumped on my back and started playing my head like a tom-tom. They went to jail...and later got paid because it was cheaper to pay them a paltry sum instead of fighting the case. I didn’t get a payoff. Thus…idiot.

4) People love to spit on cops.
I’ve been spat at and upon more times than I care to remember. Often, the calibre of person that decides it’s a good idea to spit on an officer is not the healthiest (mentally or otherwise) of individuals, so it’s always fun to play “What Hideous Disease Does That Guy Have”. Let’s just say spit hoods weren’t invented to keep people from spitting on firefighters. Only idiots require a hood to keep people from spitting on them.

5) Cop life is one of the most stressful.
When you walk into Starbucks to order your triple half-calf, no foam, soy caramel frappuccino (aka “Firefighter drink”), you just be-bop on in and order your calorie bomb. When a cop walks in, he or she looks at everyone. Their hands. Their eyes. Their intentions. Hell, these days, we can’t sit and eat lunch in our damn cars safely. Only idiots risk their lives for food or coffee.

6) Cop life easily bleeds over to home.
Dr. Kevin Gilmartin, in his book Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement, talks about what he calls the "Hypervigilance Rollercoaster". In a nutshell, cops are “up” for a minimum of 10 hours a day whilst on duty. When they come “down” they are usually at home and they become lethargic and apathetic. It often has a negative impact on the one’s we love the most. Only an idiot withdraws from the very ones who give him/her the support he/she so desperately needs.

7) When we leave the house, it may be the last time we see our loved ones.
I grew up with a firefighter for a dad. This concept is not unfamiliar to me. The difference is my odds are far greater for meeting my end at work than his ever were. My kids and my wife have only known me as a cop. It is second nature and not something that is discussed often, but that doesn’t change the reality of the situation. What kind of idiot voluntarily takes that risk?

8) The propensity for a “regular day” to turn to complete and utter shite is significant for cops.
You know who doesn’t have to face that? Accountants. Lawyers. Contractors. Grocery store clerks. At least not statistically speaking. What kind of an idiot would decide that’s a good idea?

9) A tenth of a second’s decision will be analyzed and criticized by people with no training and no applicable correlation in their own lives.
Those decisions will be made from the comfort of an office/studio/board room with absolutely no threat of imminent danger/pain/death. It takes a special kind of idiocy to give that kind of power to those with zero experience.