re: What has the OT ever done for you?

Either this shite is really heavy, or just kind of a "ya I kind of think this sometimes, but not really."

Either way, guarantee you a lot of people do have thoughts that are serious, and a lot that just think what-if?

I have, and honestly, I love life, and if you want to talk about about fricked up families, I can tell you stories about my church family growing up, and half of my family are Mennonites, and being disowned and all kind of shite.

I've always felt like I had a bad year, then a great year, or just whatever. Felt like I was on top of the world, had everything going for me, and then if it wasn't right, I would stay in the funk for awhile, and then things would be good again, and repeat.

Though I've never really wanted to end it, I've contemplated and came close to doing it.

And no, I didn't want it to end that way, and you wouldn't either. There are so many good times I have, and have had, and their will always be bad times, but that goes for everyone.

You never know who affects your life or whose life you may affect to that point, but I guarandamntee you that any of these thoughts are shared by many, and like you said, even the closest to them don't even know it.