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re: Have any of you had a child die ?

Posted on 2/26/15 at 2:14 pm to
Posted by COTiger
Colorado
Member since Dec 2007
16844 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 2:14 pm to
My wife went into labor about a month before the scheduled delivery date. I was in the Air Force at the time, stationed at the Air Force Academy. I took her to the ER and to make a long story short they decided to airlift her via a medevac chopper from Ft. Carson to the Fitzsimmons Medical Center in SE Denver. I had to drive, about 60 - 70 miles. About halfway up a state trooper pulled me over on I-25. I explained the situation and I'll be damned if he didn't say follow me and gave me a red light, siren blazing escort the remainder of the way. I got there just as our daughter was being delivered. I bought the state trooper a bottle of Crown as a way of saying thanks.
Posted by COTiger
Colorado
Member since Dec 2007
16844 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:44 pm to
I never cease to be amazed at what I see on this forum. 3 clowns, and that's the G rated version down voted the original post in this thread. Normally that doesn't bother me, but it's totally inexcusable in this instance.

Ban 'em Chicken.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103225 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:45 pm to
I just ignore downVotes. Childish in the first place.
Posted by CorkSoaker
Member since Oct 2008
9784 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:48 pm to
quote:

After 13 years my wife still blames herself because her body wasn't physically well to take care of him. She will not listen to anybody telling otherwise.


I do the same thing. My oldest was born 8 weeks early, and thankfully healthy and happy today. She spent 16 days in the NICU but I still beat myself up and feel guilty that I couldn't take good enough care of her during my pregnancy.
Posted by Team Vote
DFW
Member since Aug 2014
7735 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:53 pm to
quote:

the best advice I heard was to focus on and remember all of the good times we had experienced with our daughter. We did and it helped.


This is absolutely the best thing to do when dealing with loss. I always try to celebrate more than grieve my brother, because that's exactly what he would have wanted.
Posted by rantfan
new iberia la
Member since Nov 2012
14110 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:21 pm to
yeah I noticed that, hopefully three people pressed it by mistake. who knows
Posted by namvet6566
Member since Oct 2012
6802 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:25 pm to
Lost twin girls 46 years ago the pain never goes away, God be with you
Posted by detmut
Jesuit 81 Metairie
Member since Sep 2011
2304 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:54 pm to
i hope you find the strength you need and the peace you deserve
Posted by CrimsonTideMD
Member since Dec 2010
6925 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:19 pm to
We lost my nephew.

I remember the very first time I got to hold him; it was the first time that I knew that I wanted to be a father one day. Actually the first time the thought had ever occurred to me. I was amazed how instantly I loved him and was completely devoted to him.

I spent days and nights in the NICU with him in the month following his birth. At that time, the odds that he would survive were slim. But, he did. Oh man, he was a fighter.

He made it through 2 huge heart surgeries before his first birthday, and things were actually starting to look pretty normal for him. He was growing into a rowdy little toddler. He was actually healthy.

Which was almost the cruelest part when he died suddenly and completely unexpected.

I was at the hospital working when my mom called me with the news. The words that came out her mouth literally knocked me off of my feet. I am not an emotional or dramatic person at all, but I couldn't stand or breath.

I think about him every day. I'd give almost anything to hold him again or hear his little laugh,


Every now and then, Ill dream that Im playing with him, and it's so vivid that I think it's real until I wake up. Crushes me all over again, every single time.

This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 5:20 pm
Posted by ShortyRob
Member since Oct 2008
82116 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:28 pm to
Yes. My wife and I lost our first before she was a month old
Posted by ShortyRob
Member since Oct 2008
82116 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:30 pm to
quote:


He lived for four more days until he couldn't fight no longer. The pain has never left my heart since. It gets worse during this time of year . I close my eyes to try to sleep and I see him in his little bed fighting to live and it tears me apart .
Any way I needed to vent. I love you always my boy my teacher of life . Love you Brandon!!
It's hard for me near our daughters birthday. My wife has never really been the same. Something left her that day and never came back. My wife is wonderful. But, she's different now. I wish I could fix it.
Posted by yellowhammer2098
New Orleans, LA
Member since Mar 2013
3850 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:30 pm to
My grandparents lost a son (my uncle) at the age of 12 around 1968. Went through photographs with them around 2010 and they were very obviously still shaken when we got to images that stopped including him. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Step-sister lost a child at about a week old last summer. Wish I could have done more for her, can't imagine how hard that was.
Posted by cwil177
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
28467 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:53 pm to
I dated a girl whose family lost their 13 year old daughter to suicide. This was more than 10 years after the incident, but you could tell that there was a sadness about them that never left. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Don't be afraid to talk to people, or seek professional help. They never did and I fear that it could have helped alleviate some of their suffering.
Posted by ShortyRob
Member since Oct 2008
82116 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:05 pm to
quote:

I dated a girl whose family lost their 13 year old daughter to suicide. This was more than 10 years after the incident, but you could tell that there was a sadness about them that never left. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Don't be afraid to talk to people, or seek professional help. They never did and I fear that it could have helped alleviate some of their suffering.


The weird part is that there's no avoiding it. We had two more children after we lost our daughter. And, I mean, I know some people think, "well, you knew her for such a short time". That's true.

But, I still frequently look at my 6 year old and how she is with her little brother and wonder, "what would her big sister have been like with her"?

I see other little 8 year old girls and then suddenly realize, "wow, my baby would be in 3rd grade!!!".

Honestly, I just about never talk about it in real life. I'm not capable of it. On the rare occasion I even do try, it's all I can do to even utter the words. I turn into a bowl of tears. It's kinda pathetic really.

What you've seen in this thread from me probably triples the amount time I've articulated verbally or in type anything about my little girl. Even then, if you were looking at my face right now, you'd know, it's not even easy to type it.

And, it's been 8 years!!!
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
176327 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:14 pm to
quote:

I see other little 8 year old girls and then suddenly realize, "wow, my baby would be in 3rd grade!!!".
oh damn is this familiar


It's been a busy day for me and while Ive read I haven't had much time to post. But Ive followed this thread and I recognize so many of the emotions expressed as very personal I want to thank all of you that have shared.

group hug.



Posted by TigerTattle
Out of Town
Member since Sep 2007
6627 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:15 pm to
quote:

My first born son would have made thirteen today
Mine would have been 44 this year. He died when he was fifteen. Just today I got choked up when something unexpectedly brought up a memory. But more often the memories make me smile. Sometimes remembering is rough, but I figure weathering a few tears is small price to pay for keeping the smiles he gave us.

What I'm trying to say is that you'll never forget him, and I don't think you'd want to, so hang in there. I feel for you. You didn't have much time to make memories with your son, but I'm sure you have some good memories of him. It's clear that he made you proud.

The road won't get better, but you will learn to navigate it more easily.

Posted by Pavoloco83
Acworth Ga. too many damn dawgs
Member since Nov 2013
15347 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:20 pm to
Prayers sent my brother. so sorry for your loss. I hope your God and your family are well in your life.
Posted by COTiger
Colorado
Member since Dec 2007
16844 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:23 pm to
quote:

But Ive followed this thread and I recognize so many of the emotions expressed as very personal I want to thank all of you that have shared.

group hug.

It has been theraputic and it says a lot about the quality of the folks posting their stories/experiences.

Well done.
Posted by Darla Hood
Near that place by that other place
Member since Aug 2012
14054 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:24 pm to
Yes. No words of wisdom to offer you today, but I'll share some tears.
Posted by rantfan
new iberia la
Member since Nov 2012
14110 posts
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:30 pm to
I never would have thought so many people on here have been through the same ordeal that I have. I will bookmark this an come back when I need to.
This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 6:43 pm
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