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re: Have any of you had a child die ?
Posted on 2/26/15 at 2:14 pm to COTiger
Posted on 2/26/15 at 2:14 pm to COTiger
My wife went into labor about a month before the scheduled delivery date. I was in the Air Force at the time, stationed at the Air Force Academy. I took her to the ER and to make a long story short they decided to airlift her via a medevac chopper from Ft. Carson to the Fitzsimmons Medical Center in SE Denver. I had to drive, about 60 - 70 miles. About halfway up a state trooper pulled me over on I-25. I explained the situation and I'll be damned if he didn't say follow me and gave me a red light, siren blazing escort the remainder of the way. I got there just as our daughter was being delivered. I bought the state trooper a bottle of Crown as a way of saying thanks.
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Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:44 pm to rantfan
I never cease to be amazed at what I see on this forum. 3 clowns, and that's the G rated version down voted the original post in this thread. Normally that doesn't bother me, but it's totally inexcusable in this instance.
Ban 'em Chicken.
Ban 'em Chicken.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:45 pm to COTiger
I just ignore downVotes. Childish in the first place.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:48 pm to rantfan
quote:
After 13 years my wife still blames herself because her body wasn't physically well to take care of him. She will not listen to anybody telling otherwise.
I do the same thing. My oldest was born 8 weeks early, and thankfully healthy and happy today. She spent 16 days in the NICU but I still beat myself up and feel guilty that I couldn't take good enough care of her during my pregnancy.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 3:53 pm to COTiger
quote:
the best advice I heard was to focus on and remember all of the good times we had experienced with our daughter. We did and it helped.
This is absolutely the best thing to do when dealing with loss. I always try to celebrate more than grieve my brother, because that's exactly what he would have wanted.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:21 pm to COTiger
yeah I noticed that, hopefully three people pressed it by mistake. who knows
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:25 pm to rantfan
Lost twin girls 46 years ago the pain never goes away, God be with you
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:54 pm to rantfan
i hope you find the strength you need and the peace you deserve
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:19 pm to rantfan
We lost my nephew.
I remember the very first time I got to hold him; it was the first time that I knew that I wanted to be a father one day. Actually the first time the thought had ever occurred to me. I was amazed how instantly I loved him and was completely devoted to him.
I spent days and nights in the NICU with him in the month following his birth. At that time, the odds that he would survive were slim. But, he did. Oh man, he was a fighter.
He made it through 2 huge heart surgeries before his first birthday, and things were actually starting to look pretty normal for him. He was growing into a rowdy little toddler. He was actually healthy.
Which was almost the cruelest part when he died suddenly and completely unexpected.
I was at the hospital working when my mom called me with the news. The words that came out her mouth literally knocked me off of my feet. I am not an emotional or dramatic person at all, but I couldn't stand or breath.
I think about him every day. I'd give almost anything to hold him again or hear his little laugh,
Every now and then, Ill dream that Im playing with him, and it's so vivid that I think it's real until I wake up. Crushes me all over again, every single time.
I remember the very first time I got to hold him; it was the first time that I knew that I wanted to be a father one day. Actually the first time the thought had ever occurred to me. I was amazed how instantly I loved him and was completely devoted to him.
I spent days and nights in the NICU with him in the month following his birth. At that time, the odds that he would survive were slim. But, he did. Oh man, he was a fighter.
He made it through 2 huge heart surgeries before his first birthday, and things were actually starting to look pretty normal for him. He was growing into a rowdy little toddler. He was actually healthy.
Which was almost the cruelest part when he died suddenly and completely unexpected.
I was at the hospital working when my mom called me with the news. The words that came out her mouth literally knocked me off of my feet. I am not an emotional or dramatic person at all, but I couldn't stand or breath.
I think about him every day. I'd give almost anything to hold him again or hear his little laugh,
Every now and then, Ill dream that Im playing with him, and it's so vivid that I think it's real until I wake up. Crushes me all over again, every single time.
This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 5:20 pm
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:28 pm to rantfan
Yes. My wife and I lost our first before she was a month old
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:30 pm to rantfan
quote:It's hard for me near our daughters birthday. My wife has never really been the same. Something left her that day and never came back. My wife is wonderful. But, she's different now. I wish I could fix it.
He lived for four more days until he couldn't fight no longer. The pain has never left my heart since. It gets worse during this time of year . I close my eyes to try to sleep and I see him in his little bed fighting to live and it tears me apart .
Any way I needed to vent. I love you always my boy my teacher of life . Love you Brandon!!
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:30 pm to ShortyRob
My grandparents lost a son (my uncle) at the age of 12 around 1968. Went through photographs with them around 2010 and they were very obviously still shaken when we got to images that stopped including him. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Step-sister lost a child at about a week old last summer. Wish I could have done more for her, can't imagine how hard that was.
Step-sister lost a child at about a week old last summer. Wish I could have done more for her, can't imagine how hard that was.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:53 pm to yellowhammer2098
I dated a girl whose family lost their 13 year old daughter to suicide. This was more than 10 years after the incident, but you could tell that there was a sadness about them that never left. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Don't be afraid to talk to people, or seek professional help. They never did and I fear that it could have helped alleviate some of their suffering.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:05 pm to cwil177
quote:
I dated a girl whose family lost their 13 year old daughter to suicide. This was more than 10 years after the incident, but you could tell that there was a sadness about them that never left. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Don't be afraid to talk to people, or seek professional help. They never did and I fear that it could have helped alleviate some of their suffering.
The weird part is that there's no avoiding it. We had two more children after we lost our daughter. And, I mean, I know some people think, "well, you knew her for such a short time". That's true.
But, I still frequently look at my 6 year old and how she is with her little brother and wonder, "what would her big sister have been like with her"?
I see other little 8 year old girls and then suddenly realize, "wow, my baby would be in 3rd grade!!!".
Honestly, I just about never talk about it in real life. I'm not capable of it. On the rare occasion I even do try, it's all I can do to even utter the words. I turn into a bowl of tears. It's kinda pathetic really.
What you've seen in this thread from me probably triples the amount time I've articulated verbally or in type anything about my little girl. Even then, if you were looking at my face right now, you'd know, it's not even easy to type it.
And, it's been 8 years!!!
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:14 pm to ShortyRob
quote:oh damn is this familiar
I see other little 8 year old girls and then suddenly realize, "wow, my baby would be in 3rd grade!!!".
It's been a busy day for me and while Ive read I haven't had much time to post. But Ive followed this thread and I recognize so many of the emotions expressed as very personal I want to thank all of you that have shared.
group hug.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:15 pm to rantfan
quote:Mine would have been 44 this year. He died when he was fifteen. Just today I got choked up when something unexpectedly brought up a memory. But more often the memories make me smile. Sometimes remembering is rough, but I figure weathering a few tears is small price to pay for keeping the smiles he gave us.
My first born son would have made thirteen today
What I'm trying to say is that you'll never forget him, and I don't think you'd want to, so hang in there. I feel for you. You didn't have much time to make memories with your son, but I'm sure you have some good memories of him. It's clear that he made you proud.
The road won't get better, but you will learn to navigate it more easily.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:20 pm to rantfan
Prayers sent my brother. so sorry for your loss. I hope your God and your family are well in your life.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:23 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
But Ive followed this thread and I recognize so many of the emotions expressed as very personal I want to thank all of you that have shared.
group hug.
It has been theraputic and it says a lot about the quality of the folks posting their stories/experiences.
Well done.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:24 pm to rantfan
Yes. No words of wisdom to offer you today, but I'll share some tears.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 6:30 pm to COTiger
I never would have thought so many people on here have been through the same ordeal that I have. I will bookmark this an come back when I need to.
This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 6:43 pm
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