re: The USMNT's next German American (Maybe)

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Not good enough for your home country?
Nothing to do this summer?
Would you like to meet your father?
Give us a call!
Our player development system is specifically designed for those with no national pride but would like to increase their net worth by being a part time USMNT player. Our industry leading team of beggars, hucksters and posers will help you navigate every issue you could encounter such as:
Genealogy: who’s your daddy?
FIFA Regulations: are you American enough?
Tattoos: Ol’Glory or Bald Eagle?
Give us a call today and stop those harassing overseas call at once. Operators are standing by. Collect calls accepted. We’re an equal opportunity employer.
Se habla German.

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