re: Commercials That Are Pissing You Off Vol. 225

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What the frick? Why are they Bengal babies? Neither Brendan NOR Unicorn Sports Gal Bartender like the Bengals. Did they just move to Cincy and were like, "Well, we’re here. Guess these little frickers have to like Andy Dalton now." Maybe Sarah’s parents are Bengals fans. Maybe they moved there for the free day care and her domineering father demanded her little girl raise those kids as members of Who Dey Nation or something. Maybe that’s why Sarah became an Eagles fan in the first place. She got fed up with dad, fled to Philly, became a licentious drunken Philly fan, and ended up settling with some pud of a Vikings fan. I bet she thinks of running away every single day.

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Dude, did these people even like the Vikings at all to begin with? They can’t WAIT to find new a-hole teams to root for. My God. You ate a bunch of hamburgers and now Big Ben is your hero? You know about the rape allegations and his gray penis and all that, right? Or was the burger all that mattered to you? DURRRR DIS TASTE GOOD GUESS I’M A YINZER NOW SIX-BURGH KISS THE RINGS DURRRRR. And frick your hair.

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