re: Honestly, all jokes aside. What would make MLB more marketable in the South?

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Because Americans hate European pretentiousness. Especially if it's faked and forced.

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You honestly think people factor this in when thinking about a local MLS team?

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We like Armani because it's Armani and authentic. We like Bayern Munich because they're fantastic and authentic. But if you name an MLS team "Bayern Minneapolis" that is inauthentic and dumb, and Americans will be able to sense that.

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I guess you don't realize how popular MLS has become in the US. The numbers show that either people aren't "sensing" this fake European pretentiousness.

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Just name the team "Minneapolis Abominables" and call them the "Bombers". It's cool because Minny is cold and the Abomianable Snowman is fricking cool and cold. And American. And what the frick is "Reyalll" or "Bayern" or "Sporting" or "Chevis" or "FC" anyway?

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and now I don't even know why I'm trying to debate this with you

It is kind of funny you mention the team name Bombers, back in the day they couldn't give away enough tickets to draw interest