re: When does charity become enabling?

Real charity is not for the benefit of the recipient; it's for the benefit of the giver. It goes back to ancient Catholic teachings about receiving grace for good deeds.

Old story about Mother Theresa. She was handing out raw rice in a poor section of India. About 2 pounds per person...bring your own container.
A woman finally got to the front of the line and she held out 2 containers. "Please divide my 2 pounds so that each container has 1 pound. It's for my neighbor who is too ill to make the trip."

Mother Theresa poured one pound into each of the two containers. After the woman walked away Mother Theresa's assistant said "Couldn't you have given her 2 pounds in each container?"

Theresa: "What? And deny her the chance to experience the grace of charity?"