re: Anybody know what process US soccer has in place to identify and develop players

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Yea. Lots of kids in DFW turn down FCD Academy also. They don't want to give up high school/friends/sports.

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The relationships between the high schools and the clubs are definitely a complicated process here in the US.

On the one hand sports in the US usually develop through the "scholastic" route - being school base. And the schools have the infrastructure (most schools have a football field or access to one that can be fairly easily adopted for soccer - even if a few are very narrow) and the pre-existing athletic departments to allow a much broader cross section of kids to play.

On the other hand, the clubs tend to have a higher level of competition and kids that are more dedicated to playing year round and thus get the experience. For these reasons, most college and I assume pro and national teams tend to concentrate what little scouting resources they have to the clubs.