re: What does the OT say to someone after they lost a loved one?

So very sorry (and a hug). Avoid things like, I know, I understand, they are in a better place.

Another thing you shouldn't do:

After my son's death there were many people at our home. The wife of one of my husband's best friends told me they wouldn't be able to attend my son's funeral because they had football tickets and it was bad timing. On the day of the funeral my husband voiced confusion that the couple had not attended the funeral. I have never told him what the wife said.