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OT lawyers assemble. Child care question.

Posted on 3/31/14 at 6:53 pm
Posted by A_bear
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2013
1976 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 6:53 pm
My 2 year old daughter goes to a daycare where my ex is friends with the owner. My ex and I are co-domiciliary parents since we have 50/50 custody. My ex decides to put her boyfriend of 7 months on the pick up list without asking me if it's ok and the daycare never asked me either. So when I found out that apparently she's ok with our SO's picking up our daughter I put my girlfriend on the list without asking her. We've been together for over a year and she can be trusted with my child. Well today I get a text from my very immature ex saying that my g/f is getting removed from the list and will never be allowed back on the list. Of course the daycare let her know but didn't bother telling me about her b/f on the list. This daycare has always treated me like I'm not even my child's father. They are very disrespectful and won't give me certain documents but give my ex ANYTHING she asks for. Is there anything I can legally do to put an end to the way the daycare treats me. Oh and I pay over 60% of daycare costs.
Posted by tketaco
Sunnyside, Houston
Member since Jan 2010
19631 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 6:56 pm to
Goddamnit I hate relationships and the later.
Posted by TexasTiger39
Member since Mar 2009
3671 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 6:56 pm to
(no message)
This post was edited on 8/8/20 at 11:55 am
Posted by toosleaux
Stuck in Baton Rouge traffic
Member since Dec 2007
9231 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 6:57 pm to
Go to court. Put in writing the children will only be with immediate family. Did this myself. I even stipulated that people can't stay the night or after 8pm on school nights.
Posted by shutterspeed
MS Gulf Coast
Member since May 2007
63566 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 6:58 pm to
quote:

My ex decides to put her boyfriend of 7 months on the pick up list without asking me if it's ok and the daycare never asked me either. So when I found out that apparently she's ok with our SO's picking up our daughter I put my girlfriend on the list without asking her.



Shame that both parties are thrusting their side pieces on the kid like that.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 7:00 pm
Posted by NoHoTiger
So many to kill, so little time
Member since Nov 2006
45748 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:07 pm to
For frick's sake...can't y'all at least be adults for the sake of your child? You sound a couple of 8th graders trying to divy up the friends after a break up. If this is truly an issue, then either work it out like adults, or go back to court.
Posted by Festus
With Skillet
Member since Nov 2009
85046 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:13 pm to
A daycare can't arbitrarily decide which documents to release to which parent. If they're doing that, if you have any friends that are attorneys, I'm sure a stern letter advising them that this won't be tolerated, and a written request for the information you need, will likely get them back on track.

Include a copy of the custody agreement in the letter so they can't ever allege they weren't informed of the custody.
Posted by IonaTiger
The Commonwealth Of Virginia
Member since Mar 2006
33053 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:16 pm to
I am very sorry for you and your ex-wife. I tell you this not in my capacity as an attorney, but in my capacity as a Dad:

I recently spent time with my son who just celebrated his 32nd birthday. His Mother and I separated right before his 1st birthday. We had 50/50 custody with him living with her. It was a very ugly divorce and she and I did some nasty stuff to one another. None of the nastiness affected our child. My son never heard me say an ugly word about his Mother and he never heard his Mother say a ugly thing about me. I couldn't ask for a better or more well-adjusted kid. The way his Mother and I handled his upbringing is what I am proudest of in my life.

It's time for you to sit down with your ex-wife or call her and straighten things out for the sake of your daughter. Your ex-wife shouldn't do anything concerning your daughter that she wouldn't want you to do and vice versa. If she can have her SO pick up your daughter, you should be able to do the same.

If the daycare is a problem you should speak with them and advise them that you expect the same courtesies of privacy or disclosure that your ex-wife receives from them. If they will not agree, it's time to change daycare.

Nothing you said in your post would indicate that you are being unreasonable. But as an attorney and as a person who has been divorced, I know that there are always two sides to every story. Take this advice, make things as easy and peaceable as you can with your ex. You can still hate her and she can still hate you, but for the sake of your child you both have to act like grown-ups. I can tell you that my son's Mother and I do not hate one another anymore. We don't socialize, but send holiday and birthday wishes to one another. It has worked out for us, but more important, it has worked out for our son.

Best wishes to you. Keep your daughter's interests paramount.
Posted by BuddyLAM
New Orleans
Member since May 2013
2633 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:23 pm to
Pics of ex?
ETA: Fetus I think I speak on behalf on all tTiger Rant please take toonces out of your bottom sig pic
Please and thank you
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 7:28 pm
Posted by ELVIS U
Member since Feb 2007
9942 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:12 pm to
Stop paying
Posted by mikelbr
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2008
47540 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:44 pm to
quote:

co-domiciliary parents since we have 50/50 custody

You Most certainly can pull the child from the day care. Probably should Simply refuse to pay for it unless she wants to agree on a new place or have your gf put back on.
Co domicillary is not stated in the judgement? You're just implying it by custody? Not the same. If true co-dom you can do what I mentioned.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:46 pm
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124616 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:53 pm to
Go to a different daycare
Posted by pooponsaban
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2008
13494 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 9:00 pm to
Kid is 2 and you're split up? Good job. Glad you took having a kid so serious.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 9:01 pm
Posted by silstang23
Bossier City, LA
Member since Oct 2007
4957 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 9:05 pm to
quote:

a daycare where my ex is friends with the owner.


There's the source of your problems and future headaches.
Posted by biglego
Ask your mom where I been
Member since Nov 2007
76582 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 9:08 pm to

I'd rather do a child rape case than a child custody.
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
136855 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 9:20 pm to
FYL
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