re: I need an EPL team to root for

Here is my updated NFL comparison:

Man U = Cowboys - just don't pick them
Liverpool = Packers - Deep rooted, lots of past success, always in the mix
Chelsea = Patriots - most talented, wealthy and better behaved fan base
Arsenal = Giants - popular team in a large city, long-term coach who faces criticism but gets results
Manchester City = Texans - new to the limelight, lots of talent
Everton = Colts - knowledgeable fans, well managed, broad appeal, same colors
Aston Villa = Bears - Main fan base in a big industrial city, very hot and cold on the field
Newcastle = Eagles - Probably the rowdiest fan base, usually in the mix, give criminal players second chances
Fulham = Cardinals - everyone forgets about them, but sometimes they can catch you by surprise
Stoke = Ravens - they might not score that much, but you'll be black and blue after the game
Tottenham Hotspur = Jets - little brother from biggest city, make a lot of noise but never break into the elite, high player turnover
Sunderland = Seahawks - like the team, not the coach; northern coastal city
Hull City = Browns - don't pick them unless you are a masochist
West Brom = Bengals - irrelevant until recently, surprising results w/ sub-par players
Norwich = Jacksonville - peaceful town and fan base
Swansea = Panthers - exciting at times, but not a real threat at this point
Southampton = Chargers - strong at developing talent, coastal city
West Ham = Raiders - good history, irrelevant lately, blue-collar fan base
Cardiff/Crystal Palace - newly promoted, too early to assign a team