1 movie you hate, 5 things you liked about it: An exercise in futility?

Cool thread idea, as usual. I like the picture except for a few of the movies they chose to use for the type of movie that level of evolution a person would be at during the given stage.

So many film critics today fall under the filmstobicus hipsterata. If you look a critic ranking their top films of any given year. Take the AV club for example. I like their top all-time film list and I love a few on that list but 3/4 of them are films the general public hasn't even seen and some most people haven't even heard of. If you are a film critic, you follow a film critic mold that you have to rank foreign, indie films, or a certain director at the top of your list every year. It's engraved in critics and no top critic will change. God forbid a semi-typical movie or even a popcorn flick be one of the best movies of the year. "Pffttf. Yeah right."



Let me think a minute on a movie and then edit my post.

I like the idea, but I also don't like the idea that "all films are equally valid." Look, some things suck. It's okay to have opinions and dislike some things. I agree that there can be gems in any genre and rejecting something off of the box or the poster is silly, but sometimes my favorite move isn't what I'm watching. Some times, the thing I'm watching is aggressively awful.

I also think that people get into Oscar bait before they get into indie. You have to know what you're rejecting before you reject it. But I pretty much like the whole spectrum of film -- from geeky indie to effette foreign to brainless popcorn. I got room for it all. I do agree about moving past snark (though sometimes, snark is fun, but its not the point)

So... 5 nice things about a movie I despise...

The movie: Transformers.

1. There's one scene that's actually well-written, when the parents think he's been masturbating instead of being with Megan Fox. the way the actors playing the parents sell the scene of frustrated embarrassment shows that they could squeeze life out of decent material.

2. John Turturro.

3. They effectively played on my nostalgia of the cartoon by casting the same voice actor for Optimus Prime

4. The effects clearly cost a lot of money. At least they didn't skimp.

5. Megan Fox is really hot.

I still think the move is an unintelligible pile of trash with action scenes cut so incomprehensibly I can't even enjoy stuff blowing up. But it clearly sold a lot of popcorn.

To be fair I'm am honestly trying to come up with a list for Indiana Jones 4 and am having trouble even starting to list the things I like about it. As Balloo put it, some things are "aggressively awful" and this was the epitome of that for me. Here we go. I will update as I think of more or people help me with this

1. Indy apparently got one past the goalie back in the day and has a son
2.
3.
4.
5.

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The movie: Transformers

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You dog. I feel like the the first Transformers gets a lot of hate, not saying this is the case with you, because of the second two. I can easily overlook those two piles of crap and appreciate the first one as a really fun popcorn flick. Seeing the guys transform for the first time was really cool, because it was different and it looked pretty good. The scene where Ironhide first landed and walks past that little girl by the pool was a great scene. Megan Fox is hot. It was a funny flick, if you hate him or not Shia was funny in this. Him flexing his muscles trying to impress Megan Fox and talking to the police officer ect. That may sound gay but o well. If im around you long enough im probably going to say "Son im many things but a liar is not one of them, especially not in front of my mammy, hey mammy!" then he gets the bird "o dont be like that ill slap yo head bitch." "Uncle bobby B baby uncle bobby B!" I still can sit down and enjoy watching it. Megan Fox is hot.

Also, if you say, again not referring to you, that the Transformers ruined your childhood then you are a complete idiot. A movie ruined your childhood? I mean do you still take naps on a towel and sharpen you pencils with a crank hangin on a wall? My childhood was a blast, Sandlot being the movie that I loved the most because it pretty much defined what I did growing up. If they remade the Sandlot(they might have already done so), I could not care less. Megan Fox is hot. I'm A grown man and I just wouldn't watch it and talk about how the movie I grew up with was much better. Not cry that the movie ruined my childhood. I'm getting mad jus thinking about it.

Man I could really rant a lot more in this thread if I wanted to given the next movie I'm going to mention..

8 1/2 irks me. It's hard to put into words how much I hate this movie. "OMG WOE IS ME I AM SO DEPRESSED BC I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY AND PEOPLE TRY TO BORROW MONEY BUT SERIOUSLY MY LIFE SUCKS BECASUE I GET TO CHEAT ON MY WIFE WHO IS SUPER HOT TO BANG POSSIBLY THE HOTTEST CHICK WHO HAS EVER LIVED Megan Fox is hot WOE IS ME ITS HARD BANGING THESE CHICKS AND STAYING HAPPY AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS I HAVE GUESS WHAT IT IS THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT WHEN I TELL YOU SERIOUSLY YOUR NOT ITS.... WRITERS BLOCK AAHHHHHH GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE." That pretty much sums up the movie. And this is considered one of the greatest movies of all time?? That's adds to my hatred of it even more. I went in to it really excited bc it's hard to get your hands on a copy of it and when I got done I kicked my tv through th wall. Man Megan Fox is hot.

Ok but on to humbling myself and making a top 5:

1. It is a really pretty black and white. Definitely the main positive about the film.
2. Hmm.
3. Let me see here
4.
5. I'm seriously drawing a blank here.

I was going to do Batman and Robin

Ok Phantom Menace:
1. girl from The Professional is in it (as I called her at the time)
2. It looks good visually even though I despise excessive CG
3. The music is still great as always
4. cool space battle until a bumbling kid somehow saves the day
5. Weird Al's The Saga Begins is a pretty good American Pie parody

I can do a bunch of these:

Gladiator

1. Joaquin Phoenix was a step short of phenomenal.
2. Hans Zimmer's score was mostly solid.
3. The camera work was great.
4. Costume and Sets were well done.
5. Djimon Honsou

It was still one of the cheesiest films of all-time given the source. It was also highly inaccurate (just please avoid putting Aurelius in the movie, that was dumb) and the writing was generally awful. And Russell Crowe was also just plain...and terrible. It takes itself way too seriously, and those are movies I hate with a fiery passion. KNOW YOUR PURPOSE.

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That's something you liked about the movie?

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I'm really trying here. I've got nothing

it has to

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Is it sad that I could have wrote your gladiator one for you?

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I'm not shy about my dislike of the film, so not surprising.

Haha.

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Does this include pt. 2?

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Yup. 2 is actually more of a mess, but I won't go there.

Still a great film, but just...meh.

The last movie that I hated was Avatar: The Last Airbender. It was so terrible that I can't think of one redeeming quality, much less five.