re: I have a question about estate planning and what is possible....

The trust instrument can contain language that gives a trustee discretion as to the distribution of trust income and assets among designated beneficiaries. The trustor can also provide the trustee separate written instructions as to how he would like that discretion exercised, but the instructions are not binding on the trustee to the best of my knowledge. The trustee must weigh the trustor's desires against his fiduciary duties to the beneficiaries. As such, most trustees would likely discuss with the beneficiaries the conditions the trustor wanted for controlling distributions from the trust.