re: Crackpot ASOIAF Theories SPOILERS

saintsfan92612's summaries of this thread



Pages 1-50

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Hooded Man=Theon reflection of himself
Hooded Man=Benjen
Hooded Man=Blackfish
Hooded Man=Harwin
Hooded Man=Jon
Hooded Man=Mance
Weirwood paste is people
Benjen is alive and fighting a shadow war
Benjen is dead
Benjen is undead and leading the Others
R+L=J and Howland Reed is the only one alive who knows
Varys also knows R+L=J somehow
R+L=/=J
Jon=Azor Ahai and Dany=Nissa Nissa
Jon=Azor Ahai and Arya=Nissa Nissa (not Lannister-esque love, tho)
Rhaegar=Azor Ahai, Lyana=Nissa Nissa, and Jon=Lightbringer
Ned=shite swordsman
Aegon=Blackfyre=Mummer's Dragon
Aegon=Illyrio's son
Jon will end up with Val at the end
Jon is alive, but it was Melisandre who had him killed so he would be reborn as AA
Jon is dead but will warg into other animals a la Orell
Brienne will allow Jamie to kill her so that Jamie can live (trial by combat)
Jaime will allow Brienne to kill him so that she can live
Pretty Merris=Brienne?
Jamie will kill Cersei
Sandor will kill Robert Strong
Arya will wreck shite with Nymeria and her pack in tow
Dany will sail East to attack Westeros from the West
Blackfish will reveal Sansa's true identity at her wedding and will reveal Littlefingers role in her fathers death
Rickon is running a crew of Cannibals...lol
3 Dragon Riders=Jon, Tyrion and Dany
3 Dragon Riders=Aegon, Tyrion, and Dany
Bran will warg into Jon's dragon
Lady Dustin is anti-stark
Lady Dustin is pro-stark and just putting on a front
Varys=Targaryan
Varys=Blackfyre
Tryion=Targaryan
Bloodraven is the person/thing training Bran
Bloodraven warged into the Raven at castle black to save Jon from the wight and helped get him elected Lord Snow
Bloodraven is evil as hell and training Bran to become the Great Other that Melisandre foresaw
Bran was the one who warged into the Raven that got Bran elected
The lone wolf dies but the pack survives=the remaining starks will be reunited soon
Tysha is alive in Braavos and has Tyrion's daughter
CottonwasKing has an acreboyish attraction to Arya
The Others and the Children are fighting in league with each other against the Andal invaders
Rhaegar was planning to overthrow his father during/after Robert's Rebellion
Euron traded his dragon egg to the faceless man to kill Balon Greyjoy
Ned Stark did not kill Arthur Dayne-hence his son being nicknamed Ned...
Who wrote the letter to Jon? Theon, Ramsey, Roose, Mance, Jon writing to Mance who is acting as Jon, the 1989 Denver Broncos?
Hodor!!!
Too many baby swaps for mortals to comprehend

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Pages 50-84

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Jaime gets his sword hand revived by Thoros; becomes a bad-arse duel wielder
Robb will be revived with Grey Wind's head...
Brienne is a descendent of Dunk
Hodor is a descendent of Dunk
Hodor is not a Dunk-kin, but he has Giant's blood
Nan was a wildling from beyond the wall-that's how she knows so much about the north
Nan and Dunk did a little wink wink nudge nudge
Gregor is headless
Gregor is a frankenstein with someone elses head
Gregor has Robb's head
Hooded Man=Hallis Mollen
Dany has the bloody flux and will die (Bluegrass' wish)
The wall will fall and the wildlings will flood the North (aren't they already on this side of the wall?)
Sam ends up as Maester of Nights Watch
Sam ends up as Maester in Kings Landing
Sam has the horn that can destroy the wall
Tons of speculation on who will rule what in the end
Sandor is the Valonqar-him killing Gregor causes Cersei's death
Sandor will beat Gregor but Cersei will escape somehow; Jaime will hunt her down and deliver the Kings justice
Littlefinger and Varys will ally to help Aegon
Littlefinger has the sword Blackfyre hidden in some tapestries
Jon=Night's King returned
Bran=Azor Ahai and will warg into a dragon (...ok)
R+L=J...but the R is Robert
Jaqen is in the Citadel and is trying to find out how to hatch the dragon egg he got from Euron

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Pages 85-110

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3 Queens=Margery, Cersei and Melisandre
Alleras was sent to Old Town by Doran to acquire dragon eggs for use in alliance with Dany
Alleras is just following Oberyn's footsteps and has no real plan
Alleras is investigating what the Maesters are up to...
The Maesters will side with the Others
Alleras isn't after a dragon egg but knowledge on how to train dragons which would be more useful to Dany...
Tarly will side with Aegon
Ser Barriston will die fighting the embodiment of Winter as no normal person left could defeat him
A lot of talk about a re-read thread...but it appears that thread died long ago
This thread is a lazy river that eventually runs into an 180ft waterfall on occasion
ASOIAF is a lazy river that eventually runs into a 180ft waterfall on occasion
Samwell's death will potentially be the most gut-wrenching in the series-can a man still be brave if he's afraid?
Something isn't IN Littlefinger's tapestries, but ON them
Bran will turn bad, but will redeem himself somehow
The Others=Creatures of the forest (...evolution? laying with giants?)
Brandon Stark received a letter from Lyana describing her and Rhaegars love but he either dismissed it as Rhaegar's writing or as a slap in the face to the Starks
Arya is the Volonqar-androgynous term (I so want Arya or Jamie to kill Cersei)
Varys lied to Aerys about Rhaegar's plotting to cause disruption in the seven kingdoms
Jon is a descendent of Bael the Bard
Jon is Arya's Nissa Nissa-Stick him with the pointy end
A dragon is sleeping beneath winterfell-source of warm water wells
There is a dragon egg near the wall that is white with red specks-referring to Jon's dragon?
There is a dragon inside the Wall and will wake when the horn blows and the wall falls fulfilling two prophecies/legends in one fell swoop


A whole lot of non-theorizing took place between those pages. A lot of talk of iluv dressed as Dany and some talk of Bluebell dressed as Melisandre or Ygritte...

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Pages 110-135

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Jon is a bizzaro AA-he will be armored in ice, riding an ice dragon, and armed with a dragonglass sword
Dragons will attack the impregnable Eyrie-Dany vs Sansa?
Arya comes across the Narrow Sea as a sellsword hired by Justin Massey for Stannis
Euron=Dusky Woman
Dusky Woman is working for Euron
Mance=Ser Arthur Dayne
Aegon=/=Aegon (another baby swap gone wrong?)
Darkstar=Aegon
Darkstar did not fail to kill Myrcella, he only wanted to wound her
Wights=mindless snow zombies
Wights=controlled by Others and only attack certain people at certain times (is it even debatable that they aren't mindless?)
If Creatures of the Forest are not Others, then at the least the Others were created by the CotF
Stannis will die soon-will finally prove to Melisandre that Jon is without a doubt AA
Ser Ilyn knows a whole bunch of shite no one else does but can't read or write but will find some way to communicate a major plot point

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