re: The Cabin in the Woods. TulaneLSU's 2011-12 movie review thread

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Mormonism is the greatest threat to Western Civilization that has ever existed. The faith and reason of the last 3000 years is at stake as Mormon Satanists attack with their propaganda, housing it now in the form of pop-gnostic teenage romance books and films. How better to convert people to your belief than through entertainment, which at surface level appears benign and without intent, but below carries a pungent punch? The NFL has been doing the same for twenty years now.

Behind Twilight's childish romance where an average looking girl is swooned by a fabulously wealthy, powerful, and good looking knight in shining armor, is a sick, sinister plot to poison the minds and hearts of teenage girls throughout the world. The Mormon Satanists know that the way to world dominion is through the female because it is through the female that much of religious belief is passed. Young girls believe they are seeing their dreams come true on a silver screen, but what is being administered is arsenic of the soul. Twilight is nothing more than a capsule lined with a bad story that will appeal to teenage and lonely female masses. But its middle is boric acid. It is deadly and I would suggest you do not let your children see it.

The story is as ridiculous as any I've seen. Unnecessary drama compounds unnecessary drama. A girl wants to marry a pale white vampire, but is torn by her love for a dark dog. She marries the vamp and has a kid with him even though the kid will kill her, they believe. But magic blood and venom from the vamp hubby can bring her back to life. Meanwhile there are dogs fighting dogs and steroided vampires who run around hunting. Beneath the cover of this movie, the theme is hating humanity. Humanity is evil because we are fleshly. The dogs are evil because they are of this world. Humans are evil because they are of this world. The goal of life is to move beyond the physical world and gain a pseudo-eternal life with vampires. Gnosticism has never received a more wide spread audience, nor, in recent times, has the white supremacist doctrine of Mormonism.

I hate this movie more than anything I have ever seen before. I only watched it for the readers of The Arts Board. Accept my sacrifice by not watching this filth. I now must cleanse my body and soul from the ideas of this movie. 0/10