Flash Gordon on HBO Family

Awesome movie and sound track!

DIVE!!!DIVE!!!

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Its been a while... but wasn't this movie just chock full of 80's style T&A?

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Ornella Muti

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Start talking...

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(sigh)... alright... here's the story of

How Melody Anderson Bought Me Pornography

As we well know, as a young man, Melody Anderson's cousin lived across the street from me, which meant I had frequent contact with the woman who played Dale Arden in "Flash Gordon."



That's her.

In previous stories, I described how Melody flashed her boobs at me and tricked my brother into shaving off his pubes.

In this one, I will tell you the story of how Melody bought me a Playboy.

It was the summer of 1983. I was 12 years old. It was a summer of tragedy. Sally Ride had just become the first American woman in space, and the Hitler diaries had just been proven forgeries. Dolly Parton had just released the Burlap and Satin album. These were dark days.

The only thing that gave me any kind of joy was my Polaroid SX-70 instant camera, which I used to take pictures of flowers and birds that would land in my driveway. That, and my favorite movie, "Flash Gordon," which came on HBO no less than twice a day.

Every day I would run to my front yard to see if Melody Anderson would be visiting my neighbor. Imagine my joy when I saw Melody's white Pontiac Firebird t-top pull into my neighborhood one unforgettable summer day.

Melody was resplendent in white jeans, white heels and a white off-the-shoulder sweater. Her hair blew back in the wind like the mane of a unicorn. Her ample breasts bounced gently, like water balloons on bowls of pineapple jello.

As a slide of Polaroid instant film slid out of my camera, she purrred... "Hello, SpqrTiger. You've gotten bigger since I last saw you."

I said, "Why yes, I've been doing pushups and bicep curls nightly, with the occasional set of inclined bench presses and shoulder shrugs."

"Get in the car," she said.

So I did.

"Do you like to party, SpqrTiger?" she asked, as we drove out of the neighborhood.

"uhh... yeah," I said.

Then I suddenly remembered something VERY important. I asked Melody, "Hey, weren't you just in that movie, 'Policewoman Centerfold?'"

And she said "Yeah. You like centerfolds, do you?" She pulled up at the Circle K outside my neighborhood.

I said "Yeah, they're pretty and all."

So she took my camera from me and marched off into the Circle K, leaving me in her Firebird.

She was in there for like 15 minutes... and I thought she had forgotten about me. I was worried that my mom was going to wonder where I went.

So she comes out, gets in the car, and throws a grocery bag into my lap.

And inside is a Playboy.

I said, "Oh my God, what's this?"

And she said... "You know what it is."

She drove me back home, dropped me off and sped off.

When I got back to my room, I opened the bag and thumbed through the Playboy.

I was looking forward to opening up my first centerfold, when I discovered it had been ripped out.

In it's place was a Polaroid picture of Melody, naked, in the men's bathroom of the Circle K.

Underneath, she wrote "Here's your frickin' centerfold. Love, Melody."


The End ... ?

You fricking a-hole - this BETTER be true.

Yeah, JT... I know... she went back to college, got her Ph.D and now she's an expert in substance abuse prevention and recovery. So... her glamour days are WELL behind her.

Holy Sh*t. I just saw this. You're making me cry.