re: Theory on Miles

During the oral stage of his development (0-2 years), Les Miles received ample nourishment at his mother's breast, which resulted in a lifelong optimistic outlook on life. This innate optimism however is often assaulted by traumatic experiences that cause mental conflict and anxiety in Coach Miles. He resolves these conflicts through two classically neurotic coping mechanisms:
• Denial—The refusal to acknowledge or accept the reality of events that cause trauma. Example: Coach Miles' refusal to change the style of our defensive schemes in the 2008 season, and his refusal to admit the deficiencies of Gary Crowton's offensive schemes in 2009.
• Repression—Mentally banishing events that cause unacceptable conflict between the ego and super ego. Example: Coach Miles' stated unawareness of problems related to clock management in several games during the 2009 season.
Diagnosis: Coach Miles' personality and behavior is dictated by his idiosyncratic neuroses. Although his diminished sense of reality may affect his ability to coach football, it nevertheless makes him highly compatible with many members of this board.

Sincerely,

Coach Sigmund Freud

P.S.—Cocaine and pussy. That's what I'm talkin' bout!