re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD

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I thought about sending her to a military school, but that won't work.

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Military schools have actually shown to not be effective for kids with mental health issues. They are effective for lack of a better term average punk who does not have a father figure but not for real mental health issues.

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She always has the nuclear option of threatening suicide, and she uses it very often.

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It's mostly attention seeking behavior and they have no intent on actually doing it. I know a father whose daughter has BPD kept threatening suicide. He lost it one day and slide his deer knife across the kitchen counter to her and said "Go run a warm bath, take an aspirin, and remember to cut up your arm not across it (he must have just watched the first season of House of Cards). Oh and please tell your mother to text me if she needs anything from the mall. I am going to buy a new suit." He swears that she has not mentioned suicide again. He says that she is still out of control, but now she is just using sex to get attention. So I do not recommend that approach because what if on the <0.001% chance she actually does it then you will hate yourself. Hospitalization is a much better approach; you did the right thing getting her committed.