re: Dating as a 40 Year Old Man, How Realistic is it?

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Depends on where you live. There's still plenty of available, decent women out there if you're outside of NYC / left coast.

If you live in any kind of city, Meetups abound. Hiking, pickleball, playing cards, dinner groups, all with available women.

Personally, I've never lacked for female attention ever since I learned some basic dancing skills about at 30. Salsa, swing, 2-step, whatever people do in your area.

No offense but it sounds like you have a bunch of excuses. I'm older but have a couple of single / divorced 40 yo friends and they do well. But they are involved. dodgeball, volleyball, gym, wine club, etc.

Get out of your comfort zone if you want to succeed.

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Solid analysis. You can't just sit on the sideline and hope you cross paths with a single woman. You're no longer in high school or college to build rapport daily. You have to find events where you can build attraction.