re: What’s the worst place you’ve ever had a bug bite?

one time i went and did a dove hunt in public land.

shot a few times, hit a bird, but was pretty slow. all of the sudden the terrible urge came that you never want when hunting and especially at public land. no napkins in hand (rookie move.)


found a sturdy tree in a lowland area, held on, dropped trou, and let her rip.

lo and behold. there was a hornet's nest in this tree. when i grabbed on, i shook the nest and they attacked me. but only my nethers. one on the weiner, one on the balls, and two on the butt.

after dancing around and screaming with my pants down, and calming down. i took my boxers, cleaned up as much as i could, threw them under a brush and tenderly walked back to the truck. and then told my wife to never ask about it.

i'm always pretty particular to not leave a bird behind due to wanton waste of game, but i let the ants have that one.

my less funny answer is scorpions in shoes growing up in west Texas. after a couple of times, i would always beat my shoes out and my wife thought that was a weird habit.