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re: HISHE: Madame Web

Posted on 4/3/24 at 3:36 pm to
Posted by dgnx6
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2006
69320 posts
Posted on 4/3/24 at 3:36 pm to
Im out of the loop


this movie must be really bad because every review reads as completely sarcastic.


quote:

Tenet meets Power Rangers in this fantastic time bending film, which makes Interstellar seem like the movie version of Spot and the big red bouncing ball.

Should they remake Event Horizon, no special effects will be required, they simply have to show the cast this movie and they will happily tear out their eyes, cackling with joy, as they drive into a soulless black gaping void, or the end credits as they are known.



quote:

When I heard that a spiritual successor to Morbius was in the works, I said it could never fill such magnificent boots... I was proven wrong. At its core, Madame Web is a journey of self-discovery, weaving together intricate layers of philosophy, psychology, and metaphysics. Much like Plato's allegory of the cave, the film delves into the depths of perception and reality, challenging viewers to question the nature of existence itself.



Like wtf?

quote:

Madame Web is truly a masterpiece!

Madame Web (played by **Dakota Johnson**) is an insomniac automobile recall specialist who despises her monotonous white-collar job and consumer-driven lifestyle. To cope with her emotional struggles, she attends various support groups, pretending to suffer from ailments like alcoholism and cancer.



quote:

Madame Web may be the greatest piece of fictional media ever created.

There is no point for any other Film, TV Show, Cartoon or Anime to be created as they will pale in comparison to the excellence of Madame Web.

Everybody is excited for the release of Deadpool 3 saying it will "SaVe ThE mArVeL uNiVeRsE" but what they don't know is Madame Web has already done so. This film is the next big step towards pure greatness of cinema.



quote:

This movie was the most coherent masterpiece of my life. I was glued to my seat, the special effects captivating me. Like an early 2000’s movie, the references in this were sublime- shouting out my favorite characters such as Skrodge, spider people, and Brittany spears. The fighting scenes surprised every other super hero I’d ever seen, with an excellent use of vehicles that most other movies til to utilize. The dialogue was a pure as Shakespeare poetry, I’d give every actor a Oscar immediately.I’ve already bought 17 more tickets and plan to spend my day tomorrow reliving the life changing experience

This post was edited on 4/3/24 at 3:41 pm
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