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Posted on 2/19/24 at 12:16 pm to tigerskin
I refuse to attend until they close the casket. I prefer to remember the person alive and well, and not as an embalmed wax figure. Depending on the skill of the makeup person, sometimes the dead look nothing like themselves. Ugh!
This post was edited on 2/19/24 at 12:17 pm
Posted on 2/19/24 at 12:16 pm to Bamafig
My mom insisted on closed for my dad. We fought her for a while on it. I will say the funeral was way less painful. We were able to say goodbye a few days earlier. But, I did feel bad for anyone who wanted to see him one last time.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 1:04 pm to Bunk Moreland
Sadly I’ll get to experience both at some point. My dad prefers a traditional open casket (though isn’t crazy insistent on it) while my mom is absolutely adamant about having a closed casket.
I prefer the closed casket. I don’t want my last memory of someone to be seeing them dead. I don’t think an open casket really helps that much with closure. At least for me.
I prefer the closed casket. I don’t want my last memory of someone to be seeing them dead. I don’t think an open casket really helps that much with closure. At least for me.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 1:43 pm to conservativewifeymom
I don’t understand how seeing a dead body would make an already-grieving person feel any better.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 1:54 pm to tigerskin
It gives the family and friends a better sense of closure when they see their loved one’s body.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:08 pm to cbree88
quote:
It gives the family and friends a better sense of closure when they see their loved one’s body.
I am starting to think the morticians have just convinced us of that
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:11 pm to LPLGTiger
quote:Like dressed her up in skater-punk wear?
My great grandma died at 103 a few years back. It was obvious they tried to make her look much younger. Very awkward. Don’t recommend.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:13 pm to duckblind56
quote:
Not as weird as ganging up somewhere after the burial and pigging out on food that was "brought over" by friends and neighbors.
Something about dead bodies and casseroles that just go so great together
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:28 pm to tigerskin
The most emotional for me (after seeing a lot of folks with open caskets) was the burial in north Wales (broadcast by the funeral home) of a very good friend who died suddenly unexpectedly in a nursing home (dementia) and it was a glorious spring day and bulbs were blooming in the cemetery, and the horse drawn hearse carried her in her closed woven basket to the cemetery where all are buried without chemicals to preserve them. Images of the basket being lowered into the ground and her son and husband sprinkling the first dirt on it.
I can't and won't forget that.
I can't and won't forget that.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:43 pm to real turf fan
I'm shocked at the responses.
1. That so many people are still buried and not cremated.
2. That open is even a consideration.
I haven't been to a funeral with a body in at least a decade.
I'm 100 percent pro cremation and celebration of life.
Cemeteries are a mostly a waste of space (but..see my Arlington comment at the end). No one visits their dead relatives after a generation if that.
I kind of got into a little bit of a tiff with my uncle when my mom passed. He wanted her urn to have a headstone at a cemetery and I thought it was unnecessary. Ultimately I did it because it was important to him.
Spread her ashes somewhere she loved. I'm not ever going to the cemetery. When I want to think of her, I use my mind or look at pictures. Starting at a marble slab does nothing for me.
I say all this and will contradict myself by saying Arlington is one of the more amazing places I've been and it was very moving to be there.
So I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here as I can't even make up my mind on it.
1. That so many people are still buried and not cremated.
2. That open is even a consideration.
I haven't been to a funeral with a body in at least a decade.
I'm 100 percent pro cremation and celebration of life.
Cemeteries are a mostly a waste of space (but..see my Arlington comment at the end). No one visits their dead relatives after a generation if that.
I kind of got into a little bit of a tiff with my uncle when my mom passed. He wanted her urn to have a headstone at a cemetery and I thought it was unnecessary. Ultimately I did it because it was important to him.
Spread her ashes somewhere she loved. I'm not ever going to the cemetery. When I want to think of her, I use my mind or look at pictures. Starting at a marble slab does nothing for me.
I say all this and will contradict myself by saying Arlington is one of the more amazing places I've been and it was very moving to be there.
So I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here as I can't even make up my mind on it.
This post was edited on 2/19/24 at 2:44 pm
Posted on 2/19/24 at 3:17 pm to ghost2most
Open caskets are definitely more emotional. When we buried my brother he had an open casket. The hardest part of the funeral was watching my mom and dad break down when they closed his casket.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 5:38 pm to No Colors
Condolences. It is terrible. Haunting almost.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 5:52 pm to tigerskin
As I've gotten older and have had more people in my life passing on, more and more I think about how weird the whole funeral process/industry is. The idea of being pumped full of preservatives so my corpse doesn't degrade and sits on some plot of land with a bunch of other corpses forever is unsettling. Cremation just seems like a much more dignified option. Dispose of my ashes however and go drink beer and watch a game at Hooters in my honor.
Ultimately though, it'll be up to my boys. It's all for them, not me. I'll be gone.
Ultimately though, it'll be up to my boys. It's all for them, not me. I'll be gone.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 7:11 pm to tigerskin
Honestly, both my dads parents looked better than they did the last time I saw them.
My grandfather had slicked back hair, a nice suit, and looked like a gangster
much better than last time I saw him being a dead body in a hospital bed
My grandfather had slicked back hair, a nice suit, and looked like a gangster
much better than last time I saw him being a dead body in a hospital bed
Posted on 2/19/24 at 7:11 pm to tigerskin
Posted on 2/19/24 at 7:16 pm to tigerskin
The fact that we have to endure the deaths of family and friends is weird to me. It's like someone saying welcome to the rest of your miserable arse life. Hahaha
Posted on 2/19/24 at 8:08 pm to Reservoir dawg
quote:
The fact that we have to endure the deaths of family and friends is weird to me. It's like someone saying welcome to the rest of your miserable arse life. Hahaha
To me the whole funeral aspect is weird. You're taking people in one of the worst moments of their lives (immediate family) and making them put on a show.
Having to greet visitors, bring them to the open casket (if there is one). Put together photos and memories. Put their grief on public display. To me there's nothing dignified about it.
I honestly don't know if I can make it to my mom's funeral. I don't know if I'll have it in me. My mom is both my mom and my best friend. Yes I care for my dad as well but we have more formal relationship. His death will be painful but I'll get through it. Whenever my mom passes I honestly don't know how I'll get through it. I know this, I don't want my grief on display. Perhaps it's the introvert in me, but I just want to be left alone to process it in any way that I can.
Getting back more to the topic, I think you'll see burials become incredibly rare with Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z. Most major religions now allow for cremation and I think for a lot of people that was the only thing keeping them from doing it.
I know for me I don't want my body wasting away in the ground somewhere. My soul is gone, the body is just rotting material at that point, it means nothing.
I've already told my brother in law and mother if something happens to me that I want Cremation. I've given my brother in law 6 locations I want my ashes spread. The remaining ashes they can do what they wish. No formal visitation or funeral, just a casual Celebration of Life. Heck take my money and have a big party in New Orleans, a boat party on a lake with family or friends or take immediate family and go on a cruise out in the ocean to celebrate my life. I'm not married and I don't have kids so spend it up, don't let the government take it.
Burials already seem to be going out of style. Gen X will accelerate that. When it's time for Millennials I honestly think society will look at burials as outdated and honestly pretty weird and barbaric.
This post was edited on 2/19/24 at 8:12 pm
Posted on 2/19/24 at 8:14 pm to tigerskin
Funerals are for the living, whatever my family chooses is fine with me. Never understood people having exacting plans for their own funeral.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 8:22 pm to Swagga
quote:has always been the hardest part for me. As soon as it closes the emotions hit me like a truck
closing the casket
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