re: If you could go back in time, what advice would you give to the 18 year old you?

1. Here’s the teams that will win the BCS Championship Game and the Super Bowl the next few years. Do whatever you can to scrape money together to go to Vegas and bet on these outcomes, butthead.

2 Here’s the stocks that are going to go bonkers. You’re in the middle of a financial crisis now. You’ve got the oil spill next spring, a huge flood in 2016, and a global “pandemic” in 2020. Have fun.

3. She doesn’t love you. You don’t love her either. You just love the idea of being loved because you don’t love yourself enough to feel a sense of purpose, direction, or internal motivation to succeed without love as a carrot. You have no reason to hate yourself. Let go of your guilt and shame, stop “trying to fit in”, and let yourself be the weirdo. The people meant to be in your life dig the weirdo.

4. Keep playing guitar. Keep playing scales to a metronome and teaching yourself proper technique. Do the same with your voice. Hijack the practice rooms at the school of music if you have to. Get GOOD. YouTube is awesome for this. Here’s 30 songs you’re going to write over the next 15 years. Put together a band and start performing them now while they’re in style. Also, this is what a couple of those songs you already wrote sound like produced and all. Cool, right?

5. Go hang out at The Spanish Moon and HTGT. Most of your friends who are still in town or that you haven’t made yet are over there.

6. Don’t worry so much about picking a major that makes money. Study what you’re passionate about. You don’t need to worry about making money to raise a family at 18. Find where your passions and skills align, and you’ll figure out a way to make money from that. Don’t define success for yourself based on what you think others want for you or from you.

7. Quit the caffeine and sodas cold turkey. Try to cut out hfcs. Start exercising and biking. You don’t have to do THAT much to make a serious difference over time, and you will like yourself a lot more when you’re In better shape.

8. Stop speeding so damn much. You don’t need to be in a hurry, and all those tickets are expensive.

9. You have multiple serious undiagnosed mental illnesses. You need to make an appointment with a mental health professional to get you behavioral therapy. There will be some free resources at the college. Learning that shite now will help you be way more efficient at studying, better manage your time at home, and improve your social life drastically.

10. You learn best by copying the solution to example problems, then solving the example while looking at the solution, then solving it without looking at the solution, and then solving similar problems without the solution. Trying to read and memorize will just get you in trouble.

11. Stop coping, start living. I know hs sucked, and college won’t get better playing videogames and watching tv alone.

12. Here’s a bunch of bands you missed that are popular right now. Go see them when they come through. Also, it’s okay to like the things you like. Anyone who gives you shite for it is either just playing with you and doesn’t actually care or is just an a-hole you’re never going to need to see again. The people you like hanging out with actually all love that stuff too. You don’t need to prove anything to other people, but you definitely don’t need to use taste in movies or videogames or music to prove you belong.

13. Here’s a style guide. I know no one ever taught you how to dress. Here’s some options that you can make happen via thrift stores, and here’s a few trends that will come and go over the next 15 years.

14. Your ex-wife is in the same class group as your cousin that you eat breakfast with a couple times a week. Use that information to either meet her or avoid her. It’s up to you.

15. Your dad isn’t hard on you because he’s an a-hole or because he’s disappointed in you. He’s hard on you because you’re just like he was as a kid (albeit in worse shape). He’s been exactly where you are and doesn’t want you to go down the same bad roads. Life really kicked him in the arse in his 20’s, like it’s going to do to you, to make him that way. He’s actually super proud of you, and is just trying to make you ready for the world. You aren’t, and you won’t be, but that’s just how growing up works. Cut the old man some slack, and don’t be afraid to ask him for money every now and then for basic necessities. He actually really wants to help and be a positive part of your life. Also, ask him about any genetic disorders he may have passed down to you.