re: My wife and her Gfs are on a trip in Cancun

Buddy, you may not think “your wife” is cheating on you, but there’s a 99.9% chance the thing she becomes after heavy drinking with her girlfriends all day is. Especially if she’s going hard dark on you, probably whilst getting railed by peens that have the coloring of neopalitan ice cream.

This doesn’t mean you have to get divorced, but you should probably push her down the stairs a few times after 3 months just to be safe. You should also level set expectations of the marriage moving forward.

Prob wait a while before touching her bits without protection too.