re: Prayers needed! Planning on getting a vasectomy without telling the wife.

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I'd bet OP is trolling but assuming it's true, wife is being just as selfish by going off bc and trying to get pregnant when he doesn't want another kid

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The risk of pulmonary embolism goes up in your 30s if you are using birth control. A lot of doctors recommend stopping it at 35. That might be what happened here.

If not, she's steamrolling him by just doing whatever she wants and telling him without asking for his input. That could mean she's being childish. But it could also mean the OP is being a wuss and is not standing up for himself. Or both.

Lot of major red flags here. No marriage is perfect, but both of them have to be pulling the same direction on topics like this. The decision to have or not have a child is not something where a compromise will suffice. They both have to be all in on the direction they take.