re: OT dads with small kids and a job that travels, how do you like it?

2021 was the first time I was ever in town for my oldest kid's birthday. He turned 13.

Trade show season, etc, just always had me gone Jan-Feb every year.

There were some fun moments like when an entire restaurant in Germany sang my kid happy birthday... but when your kid tells you that it was nice to finally have you here in person, you realize that it's not something they don't realize is happening.

Choose wisely. I traveled so much for so many years. I am happy I got to experience it, but I don't think I could swing it now as my kids are now 9-14 years in age.

I couldnt do it

I work from home too...bring my daughter to school every day. Im home when she walks in he door off the bus. I coach her softball teams. She's able to do multiple extra curricular activities, etc.

Coming from a divorced home and mostly raised by a single mom, I was the kid who always needed to bum rides to games and home from practice and now I'm the one driving and buying ice cream after...there is no $ figure I can put on that.

I've had job discussions before and I've told them all if AT LEAST doubling my salary, maintaining my 6 weeks of PTO and being home by 3 pm every day I am not traveling is not an option, there is no reason to waste our time

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I work offshore because that’s how I can make as much money as possible. It’s all I care about. I’ve missed all kinds of shite and i don’t care.

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I can't tell if I should be appalled at what you said or impressed that you said what so many probably think but are too afraid to say.

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would take A LOT more than 20k to get me on a plane every week again.

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I think we all need to make sure we’re comparing apples and oranges here, not apples and airplanes.

I travel for a living but my territories have all been drivable.. covering 2 or 3 states.. dont think you could pay me enough to do air travel every week, though if im in my own vehicle, with A/C how i want it, radio , am able to stop whenever and wherever and eating on expense account- for me it’s heaven .

It's hard as frick to leave with your 4 year old daughter standing at the door screaming I want my daddy.

I worked out of town except for summer months for nearly 20 years. Wife and my first 2 kids traveled with me until they started school. After that I was on the road except for a week here and there and I would be home from late May to early September.

It's not for everyone and the MOST IMPORTANT THING IS A GOOD WOMAN.

"You will never get that time back with your kids."

That quote is true, but your kids will understand when they become adults if, AND ITS A BIG frickING IF, you being gone significantly improves their opportunities.

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I needed to say it out loud.

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No judgment here man...it sounds like a tough spot. All I can say is I hope you can recognize what (and who) can and will make you happy and pursue it with vigor, passion and clarity

Back to add a caveat. Earlier in my career, the travel rules suuuucked.
-Sunday departures common
-if a meeting was after 10am, they expected you to fly same day. This worked out REAL well when packages shipped to hotel were lost, etc, or any other delay.
-you were expected to fly home after a meeting if a flight was available. This also worked GREAT when you were racing to pack up a booth and get to airport on time. Quality packing job.
-you were forced to take cheapest flight option available unless you had approval for another option. Hello Atlanta to Grand Rapids via Orlando!
-even if you took a redeye, the "culture" expectation was to see your arse in the office the next morning.
-for international travel that could be a month long (for some people even more), the only COMP time earned was if your travel was over a holiday.


Now, in my last job... my boss was a career traveling guy and was awesome. Weekend travel was never expected. And if you did, he was okay with off-the-books comp time.

He supported flying in the day BEFORE a meeting, and flying out the morning after. Our company had over 50 production locations, and I'd spend a day at each facility. It was nice to be able to shower, have dinner with the locals, and not stress about catching a flight. The reward was so obvious, when you have 50+ plant staff that know you and want to help you out.

It was nice to have a guy that understood work/life balance. If you were out all week, busting your arse... he'd frequently tell you to stay home on Friday or leave early, etc. It just makes good sense to me to have happy employees that are literally out there on the "front lines."

I left a job in June due to travel and pay. Luckily I was able to join my current employer with a 30k raise and home every night so in the regard I am lucky. My previous company I averaged out of town two weeks a month. Sometimes scheduled sometimes not. Once we had kids I hated traveling but thought it was setting me up for a nice raise when my boss retired so I killed myself trying to stand out. There were times that from February to April I might be home 3 to 4 days during that time working as a safety manager on turnarounds. It was hard to be away, but coming home was equally hard because as soon as I got home my wife would be pissed because she was home with my son as well as working full time but didn’t get a break. I guess she thought working 16 hour days with no off days for three months was a vacation for me. Once my daughter was born I only had to travel twice and then Covid hit which kept me home. My boss retired and the raise wasn’t nearly as nice as it should have been. I made the decision that I was done and was able to move to my current roll. I am home every night except a few travel days here and there and I get to watch my kids grow up. I am able to help coach my sons coach pitch team which I never would have been able to commit to before. I was lucky to get off the road and make more money 6 miles from my house but you have to make your own decision. If you don’t have a strong wife, it is going to cause issues.