by Carl DuboisOctober 30, 2009 12:08 AM
LSU and Tulane will play football against each other for the 98th time Saturday. LSU's game notes say the Tigers lead the series 68-22-7. Tulane's game notes say it's 66-24-7.
At least they agree about who won 88 of the 90 games that had a winner.
The first game between the schools was the first football game in LSU history, the only one of the 1893 "season." It happened at Sportsman's Park in New Orleans on Nov. 25, 1893. Tiger Rant threads that week were about what you'd imagine:
We own Tulane
WarSkuleRulz: We handled their nine on the diamond in the spring. Ten to eight. We will emerge victorious.
Just watched practice
AgriMajor92: We have some fellows who can run and cradle the pigskin, and at the same time. I bet none else in this nation are the better at it.
FanAttic: Did you get a telling view of Ruffin Pleasant's calves?
AgriMajor92: Yes, they are quite the specimens. As he was on his way to the farm later, they were tethered to a nearby post during practice rushes.
Do you think Coates a wise choice?
CadetLad: I harbor reservations about our coach. Are we to believe him up to the task?
Methinks: I trust no one from as far north as Baltimore.
AgriMajor92: He is becoming increasingly wise about the benefits of sugar. This could provide an advantage for our boys.
CadetLad: My nephew, who is ten but strapping and well fitted with derring-do, roams the gridiron for a young tactician called Leopold Saban. We should do well to have him lead our charges rather than this Coates.
Is the word given on uniforms?
TigerRagamuffin: Our base ball boys were attired in purple and gold in victory opposite the Tulane performers. What is the talk about our dress for this occasion?
ShunNotTradiShun: A most foul and unpleasant pox shall descend upon he who alters this fashion in any manner.
EinsteinIsAWeirdo: I would not at all mind a more vibrant shade of gold.
QuillTheThrill: Inasmuch as we shall be guests in this contest, an introduction of gray into our ensemble should be required.
BeatTheRushHateTulaneEarly: Is this a Tulane rule? They are already threatening to charge higher admission fees for this affair merely because we are the arranged visitors.
FanAttic: Are the rumors verified as to the positioning of chemistry professor Harcourt Morgan as both a coach and a player?
GayleForceWinds: I, too, have heard this. My girl's mother has afternoon tea with a lady who tells her she is a neighbor to a man of letters who introduced the professor to Baton Rouge society, and her tales from a fortnight ago lend credence to this speculation.
FreshMan: Does she have an appealing elegant line of the neck? Have you at least a daguerreotype to share?
Do not post players' telegrams
Poultry: Hear me now, good fellows. I shall remove any contributions that purport to be the telegram texts of any of our boys.
CadetLad: HOW DO YOU DARE STOP US FROM OUR FUN STOP
Poultry: Clever. But, do not test me.
EinsteinIsAWierdo: The one supposedly sent from Prescott to his parents was not believable. He would rather die than leave us and enroll at the Alabama school.
CajunMenace: We don't have a college yet, but if not for you Seminary of Learning of the State of Louisiana people, we would have one by now. You are holding us back, and we will soon conspire to catch and surpass you. Mark my words!
CadetLad: That's not our name! Be gone, Freudian cliche! Poultry, away with all trace of him!
Run left, or right?
WalterCamp: This flying wedge is the correct strategic attack, but should we run left, or right?
Reveille: Balance is suggested by those in the know, and it should include some element of surprise.
CadetLad: The reputation of Mr. Coates is that of predictability. I fear this shall be our undoing.
AgriMajor92: That is all you ever write, scoundrel.
CadetLad: **This posting redacted by administrator**
We do not receive proper respect
PlagioclaseFeldspar: The New York Journal and Boston Herald each penned articles about this foot ball at colleges, and not one word about our boys. They despise us, and openly.
TheRealQuill: I could reveal here a more meaningful utilization or two of their paper, but the few ladies who frequent our establishment would be rendered faint by the odors suggested by their mind's eyes upon reading it.
CadetLad: I have yet to meet a scribe who does not reek.
FanAttic: What you said, I double.
FreshMan: The local rag, which is said to be prepared to indicate this sport as too violent and ungentlemanly, has yet to arrive at my dwelling. I am considering cancelling my subscription already, and I shall if they besmirch our boys and their courageous efforts.
AgriMajor92: Everything I know and suspect about this club of ours, I discover here, not from the morning pages. They are soon to be irrelevant to any discussion.
Tulane's secret plan?
WalterCamp: You know I wish not to spread rumors, but too many accounts have emerged wherein the Tulane strategy appears to be augmenting the roster with participants from the Southern Athletic Club. Do any of you hear the same?
TheRealQuill: It should not surprise me. They are nothing if not carpetbaggers and cheats.
Let's meet for early snacks
GayleForceWinds: Prior to this contest, I recommend we park ourselves under the shade of nearby trees and enjoy party foods easily assembled, along with beverages. Friends in New Orleans will meet us, and we can establish an area for gathering near their velocipedes, and we'll taste the picnic and anticipate the contest with vigorous debate.
ContributorNameGoesHere: Velocipedes? Are these what are now called bicycles?
AgriMajor92: A splendid idea, and one I dare say no one has thought of prior to this.
GayleForceWinds: And if they have, they could not have thought of it nor practiced it as wonderfully as us.
Should we be playing against Tulane?
GroverClevelandIsALiberal: Another sporting contest with those fellows? Do we want this becoming a habit?
DorianGrayGhost: We should not schedule them ever again.
Carl Dubois has written or blogged about LSU since '99. That's 1999. He apologizes to those who were hoping for a serious game analysis, and he hopes this is in some way an enjoyable substitute as we prepare for what could be the last Tulane-LSU football game in a long time. He thanks Peter Finney and his history of LSU football for an assist, and he hopes Pete will forgive him for linking him to such silliness. You can contact him at carl1061 'at' gmail.com.