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Nerves as a Coach

Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:08 pm
Posted by Bert Macklin FBI
Quantico
Member since May 2013
9085 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:08 pm
Has anyone else found that they get way more anxious about youth sports that they are coaching than they ever did as a player? Its not like I feel like I need to win youth sports to validate myself but I think it comes down to the fact that I can't make the plays. I always fear our guys losing because I didn't have them prepared or because my game plan wasn't good enough. I couldn't care less if we lose a hard fought game where our guys did what I asked them to do and we just fell short but it really bothers me when we get beat because I didn't have them ready for a certain situation or a certain play. I am always worried about if I told them enough info, too much info, or if I put it in terms where they can make quick easy decisions.

Am I crazy or is coaching way more stressful than playing?
This post was edited on 5/6/24 at 1:09 pm
Posted by b rod lsu
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2006
4881 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:09 pm to

What age and sport(s) are we talking about?
Posted by CaptainsWafer
TD Platinum Member
Member since Feb 2006
58402 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:09 pm to
Sounds like you’re just trying to be a good coach.
Posted by atxfan
Member since Jul 2004
3552 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:10 pm to
You either have the better players or you don't. You're not Vince Lombardi.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124659 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:11 pm to
I feel you. I mean when Blaxxxton missed the tee I almost lost it. And I blew my top at Bleightyn for picking dandelions out in left field.


Not that shite! Not on my team!


Raaaaargh!!!

We'll never make the postseason at this point.
This post was edited on 5/6/24 at 1:12 pm
Posted by BabyTac
Austin, TX
Member since Jun 2008
12331 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:12 pm to
Same in real life. It’s easy to show up for work and do your job. The stress and anxiety builds in as you start managing groups of people as you move further up the ladder.

Counting on someone to come through, babysitting lazy employees, and dealing with grown adults and their drama all while achieving goals and meeting corporate KPIs.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18490 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:12 pm to
I definitely did. I coached my son’s soccer team from U7-U11. First few years were okay but once they really cared about winning, I got super into it.

I would spend a few hours after a loss thinking through my head what went wrong.

I don’t know if professional coaches feel the same way. I’m not sure I could do that for a living. I wouldn’t be able to disengage from it.
Posted by MikeHoncho47
St. Mary Parish
Member since Aug 2016
1576 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:12 pm to
Coached High School Baseball for 11 years, with three as a head coach.

Nerves were way higher as the coach than the player. As a player you worry more about the things you can control. You ride the roller coaster on what you can't control.

The coach bears some responsibility in every facet. Yeah I couldn't stand in the box or on the mound for them, but I'm the one that put them there. And if they fail, it falls on me,
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
64454 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:20 pm to
I used to get very nervous when I coached my daughter’s soccer team. I’m usually pretty hard on myself performance wise and I didn’t know anything about soccer. Just cared too much and wanted the girls to have a good time.

I didn’t know how to play the game and a lot of the teams were completely stacked with multiple “assistant” coaches who had really good daughters. I had a bunch of new players and they’d get pretty discouraged early in the year. Learned a lot and we went from losing 10-0 to like 1 or 2-0 by the end of the year, even had a few draws and a win

Was very rewarding after it was all said and done because the kids stuck with it, improved and the improvement was pretty obvious.
This post was edited on 5/6/24 at 1:51 pm
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
21611 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:22 pm to
quote:

Has anyone else found that they get way more anxious about (managing, coaching, leading people) that they are coaching than they ever did as a participant?


Its the simple fear of being not in control. It applies to all "team" or "group" activities with a valuable outcome. When you are a participant, you have an assignment to take care of. When you are the "coach" you have to rely on everyone to perform their assignment and you have no control over it at that point. That's where a good coach or leader separates himself from a poor one. You have to trust and have confidence that you have prepared your team to do their assignments. If they fail, you learn from it and head out to the next "game" with a little bit better plan.
Posted by tigersbb
Member since Oct 2012
10419 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:25 pm to
quote:

it really bothers me when we get beat because I didn't have them ready for a certain situation or a certain play.


Years of reading Tiger Rant will do this to you. Every loss is on the coach for not having the right player in the game, or not calling the right play, or not preparing the team better. Its never just that the other player may be better or good fortune fell their way or a close call went against you. Nope, there must be a scapegoat or villain..
Posted by Dicky
Member since Jun 2017
516 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:28 pm to
You aren’t alone friend.

Last year I got a 6 year old thrown out at 3b to lose the championship game. That kid also happened to be my son, and the sadness and disappointment in his eyes is something that took me weeks to shake. Didn’t sleep a wink for 2-3 nights.
Posted by WDE24
Member since Oct 2010
54184 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:33 pm to
Pretty natural emotions. Nothing wrong with it.
Posted by poochie
Houma, la
Member since Apr 2007
6392 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:34 pm to
absolutely! i coach a lot and get way more nervous that i ever did as a player. I guess it's because i want them to succeed/be in the best position and best prepared.
Posted by BamaCoaster
God's Gulf
Member since Apr 2016
5322 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:38 pm to
I coached soccer from like U-8 all the way to high school levels for a couple years.
Every practice, I wrote down a schedule, and shared with players before they ran to begin practice.
Didn’t care about winning necessarily at youth and jv levels. Just wanted to teach the “game”.
The fundamentals. The “plays” (offsides trap, overlap, positioning, etc).

At varsity, obv winning came into play.
Posted by Packer
IE, California
Member since May 2017
7841 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:41 pm to
quote:

Am I crazy or is coaching way more stressful than playing?



Only for coaches of losing teams. As the DC of my son's K-2nd flag football team, we have the best D in the league when it comes to points allowed, and I have no nerves on game nights.
Posted by hubreb
Member since Nov 2008
1852 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:41 pm to
I helped coach a football for 5th and 6th grade....had to call plays for a half one time - much harder than I anticipated and I sucked at it...the dad that normally called plays got there and it was night and day

coached 8-12 baseball and that was a breeze, went back to coach pitch for my younger one and that was tough
Posted by CootKilla
In a beer can/All dog's nightmares
Member since Jul 2007
5924 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:43 pm to
Yes, coaching youth soccer has turned me into an alcoholic.
Posted by wheelz007
Denham Springs, LA
Member since Jan 2010
3369 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:43 pm to
You're taking the committment serious and just trying to be a good coach. It's perfectly fine. Go for it.

Some people may tell you that you take it too seriously. Let them.

You do what you can to elevate your kids, coach 'em up, love them and then see how well you can get your team to play.

I coached for a long time and loved every minute of. Make as many memories as you can and enjoy it. Time goes by quickly.

My coaching days are done now and I sometimes wish my boys were still playing, so I could coach. I miss it sometimes.


Posted by Alt26
Member since Mar 2010
28581 posts
Posted on 5/6/24 at 1:45 pm to
Yep.

I had the opportunity to coach 5-6 year old basketball this year. About 30% of the players liked playing and wanted to win. The other 70% didn't really give a shite. We practiced once a week for an hour. The attention span was approximately 20-30 minutes, at best. We would get to the game and our kids looked like they had zero idea of what was going on. No matter how many times we practiced a situation, once the game started it was like they were seeing it for the first time. Not surprising, we lost all but two of the games.

Some of the games were just complete arse kickings. I never cared about the W/L record, but in those games it didn't even look like most of our kids wanted to be there. The reality is, they didn't. They were just playing because their parents wanted them to. But I always felt so bad because I felt like I wasn't giving them a chance to compete or getting through to them. I didn't care that they lost. Just at a loss in trying to figure out why they weren't getting what we were teaching and how I could do better.

Then my child played on a different team. A team with kids that actually wanted to play the sport. The practice was not that much different than mine. It's just the kids on the team wanted to be there and learn.

Sports aren't for everyone. Especially when kids are young. And no matter how much to try to teach and encourage, if they don't care they don't care.
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