Imagine if the Devil Went Down to Georgia and Tom Waits had a baby, and then that baby was raised in the swamp.

It's Half-folktale, half-Boudreaux and Thibodeaux joke, half-beat poem, half-recipe

Here it is
The Ballad of the Roux-Guru

The Roux Guru

You know Georgia's got its Devils
Playing fiddles up on stumps,

But down here in south Louisian'
We ain't got nothin but an endless swamp

Well the cities have their restaurants,
Their chefs can cook a real mean stew,

But if you want the really good stuff,
You gotta get deep down the back bayou,

[chorus]
To the Roux-Guru, (the Roux-Guru)
He got a BLACK pot three feet wide,
Yeah the Roux-Guru, (the Roux-Guru)
paddle stirrin somethin up inside,
Many men have tried to beat him,
In a cookoff, but no men do,
And if you lose you might be feedin,
The Roux-Guru (Roux-Guru)

[verse]
Well Thibodeaux and Boudreaux,
They're as Coonass as they come,

Them city folk laugh at them,
Yeah boy they think they're dumb,

But when it comes to cooking'
They're all eatin' with a smile,

Yeah they can make an alligator,
Taste just like a crocodile,

[verse]
They paddled down the bayou,
In their pirogue with a pot,

They'd heard of this Roux-Guru,
Came to see just what he got,

On a massive stump of cypress,
There he stood at six-foot-nine,

Mossy hair all on his body,

And an alligator spine,

[chorus]
The Roux-Guru, (The Roux-Guru)
He said "I've heard you're pretty good, you know"
The Roux-Guru, (The Roux-Guru)
How about we battle with Gumbo,
Well Thibodeaux and Boudreaux,
You better be the winners,
'Cause iffin if you don't,
He'll be having YOU for dinner,
The Roux-Guru, (The Roux-Guru)

[verse]
Put some flour in that pot now,
Couple cups of bacon grease,

Yeah they're goin for that dark brown,
Keep on stirrin' never cease,

Work that paddle, Boudreaux choppin,
Adding in the Trinity,

Then some garlic and some spices,
Smells just like divinity,

[verse]
Chicken thighs and homemade sausage,
Steady browning in their pan,

Over there Roux-Guru cookin,
With the fury of the damned,

Every creature from the bayou,
Skinned and goin in his vat,

Possum, rabbit, deer and coon now,
Think he used an old stray cat,

[chorus]
The Roux-Guru, (The Roux-Guru)
Yeah he's using magic spice,
The Roux-Guru, (The Roux-Guru)
Dinner's ready, make some rice,
Well boys it's judgement time now,
And this cook could cost your soul,
Seem's the Devil's come to judge yeah,
So it's time to serve a bowlllll
To the Roux-Guru

[bridge]
Now the Devil started tasting,
Said the Roux-Guru's was yummy
Kinda looked like Gordon Ramsey,
Red and rotund was his tummy,
Came to Thibodeaux's and Boudreaux's,
With that big spoon in his hand,
Then on his tongue dance flavor angels,
The Devil laughed and said Hot Damn!

[chorus]
You beat the Roux-Guru!
(The Roux-Guru!)
And so you win this Pot of Gold,
Beat the Roux-Guru!
(The Roux-Guru!)
That gumbo's good even 5 days old!
You can tell anybody you want to,
But those city folk won't think it's true,
That some boys from down the bayou,
Beat the Roux-Guru!
(The Roux-Guru)

[outro]

Oh the Roux-Guru
(Roux-Guru)
He's still waiting in that swamp,
There to challenge any Coonass,
Stirrin' on his cypress stump,

Yeah the Roux-Guru
(The Roux-Guru)
Oh the Roooooouuxx-Guruuuuu

This post was edited on 5/18/24 at 8:47 am