Santa Fe & Red River

I can't comment on Taos because I haven't been there, but I've grown up going to Santa Fe which is a great town to park in for a few days. I personally love the long drive from Santa Fe to Durango where it seemingly goes from High Desert to Alpine and back and forth. As for fishing, the San Juan is a big clear stream in Farmington (not all that pretty of a place) with big trout and there are many smaller streams to the North that are just beautiful little fisheries.

I've been going to Red River since the early 70's. I spent two weeks up there in July. It's a fun little town. Main street is walkable with fun stores on both sides of the street. Two very fun bars to sit in and people watch. I take my RZR and bikes so during the days I enjoy the high country scenery.

Before you go either place make sure the fires are under control.

I keep a bunch of info on activities and contacts. PM me if you want any info. The city also has a neat tourist center with lots of info.

You are correct about the schools. It's unreal just how bad they are until you speak with the entrenched locals.

Oh! I forgot to add brewery recommendations:
Rowley's Farmhouse Ales (down by Meow Wolf) is really, really good. They have an extensive selection of fairly rare bottles and always lots of good stuff on tap (both their own and others).

They definitely specialize in Farmhouses and wilds as the name implies, but all their beers are solid.

Food is good as well.

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What area we should stay in (looking at airbnb)

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So this is a big one, because Santa Fe has pretty heavy wealth disparity. You can end in the ghetto and away from anything interesting. Our last trip, we actually ended up in South SF down by Meow Wolf, which is an area we would never stay in normally but ended up there due to problems with our initial booking.

Generally, you want to stay within the proximity of "downtown." There are four major areas you'll see referenced there. The Railyard, The Plaza, Museum Hill, Canyon Road. All of these are "good" locations in the wealthier tourist zone. Note, when you're looking for AirBNBs for Santa Fe, you'll also find a lot of them that are out in the country. We've done that before, too, and it can be a really cool experience to stay out in the middle of nowhere but only a 15 minute drive into town.

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Favorite breakfast spots

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We aren't big breakfast people and generally eat that at our AirBNB to save up for bigger meals later. That being said:
Cafe Pasquals is pretty much the GOAT for breakfast. Huevos Motulenos are amazing.
Whoo's Donuts are really good. Blue Corn Lavender donut is insane.
Teahouse is at the top of Canyon Road and is really charming. Has nice outside seating, too. Good place for breakfast, lunch, coffee, and tea.

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Favorite lunch spots
Favorite dinner spots

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Not sure I can really distinguish between these two:
Shake Foundation Santa Fe is a good lunch spot that you can walk up and eat at picnic tables.
A lot of people will tell you to eat a Frito Chili Pie in a bag from the downtown Five and Dime because Bourdain did it on his trip to Santa Fe. It's pretty meh.

I listed a bunch of the New Mexican places earlier, but I'll elaborate.
The Shed/La Choza: Sister restaurants. Similar menus. Santa Fe institutions.
Tomasitas: probably my favorite New Mexican. Also serves sopapillas which are the bomb.
Tesuque Village Market: 10 minutes outside of town in a little converted grocery. Has kind of a hipster roadhouse vibe to it. We love it. Combine with a hike up Windsor Trail or a trip to check out Shidoni Sculpture Studio/Gallery.
El Farol: classic tapas joint.Really good.
Geronimo: super high end. Lots of famous "stars" who live or visit eat here.

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Favorite coffee or tea shops

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Ohori's is good coffee.

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Favorite chocolate/dessert shops

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Kakawa chocolate house. Has drinking chocolate and lots of other chocolates. Very good.
My wife and son have also done a chocolate making workshop at Cacao Santa fe.

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Favorite breweries Favorite bars (outdoor patio seating, rooftops, margaritas, etc)

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Love Rowley's Farmhouse Ales.
Second Street Brewery in the Railyard is also good.
Bell Tower Bar at La Fonda is a must do for sunset. Outside seating, and it's a tradition.
Cowgirl BBQ was once our favorite restaurant/bar in Santa Fe. It's still a great bar, but food isn't what it once was. Has pool tables and such.

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Favorite art galleries

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Too many to name. Seriously. Just walk up Canyon Road. Kelly Moore's Dark Bird Palace is a great one, but that's mainly because I know him and have some of his art. He's a cool outsider artist. Shidoni Sculpture is cool to talk around in out in Tesuque. I'm not sure you'll fine a higher concentration of art galleries anywhere than what exists in the plaza and canyon road area of Santa Fe. It's crazy.

The O'Keefe Museum downtown is really good.

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Favorite spas

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Two choices:
Ten Thousand Waves which is a really nice more upscale spa closer to town.
Ojo Caliente a further distance and more historic, but worth it. At one time, it was just kind of a hippie place, but they've renovated and remodeled, and it's pretty nice. The natural setting is amazing.

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Favorite hikes near by (scenic, mountainous, lakes, rivers, etc)

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Valle Caldera is a cool area to check out.
Drive up to Santa Fe Ski Resort if you want to transition into high alpine from the dessert in 20 minutes. Very cool with some aspens if you're there at the right time of year to see them change. There are lots and lots of hikes and day trips in the area. We predominantly go for mountain biking, so what we're looking for is a little different.

My favorite hike is Tent Rocks, though. It's freaking insanely cool. Hoodoos, slot canyons, great views.

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Any absolute must-dos

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Let's put it this way. We've been going off and on for 20 years to Santa Fe. I'm still finding things that we haven't done and need to do.

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When in Santa Fe, I take it that I should stay as close to the Plaza as possible? Is SF dangerous to walk around in at night? I love exploring different neighborhoods, but I can honestly say I don't know much about Santa Fe neighborhoods and crime.

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So Santa Fe is a weird mixture. It has a huge wealth disparity. There are some of the wealthiest people in America there (or at least, they have homes or visit it frequently), and there are also some of the poorest. You can absolutely walk around safely at night anywhere in the Railyard, Plaza, or Canyon Road. When you start to head out to the areas outside of that, things can get dicier. One of the BIG things as far as crime to watch out for is theft and car burglary. No one is going to hold you up, most likely, but you can definitely have shite stolen out of your car, especially if it's parked in a hotel parking lot (a friend of mine had his bike stolen overnight at a parking lot off his truck...bike theft is really bad). Also, most trailheads will have signs warning that they're "high prowl" areas. People will break into cars at trailheads for hiking and biking. Never happened to me, but it definitely can happen.

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Is spending a day or two in Red River, Taos, or Pecos worth it? I'd like to get a mountain cabin for a day or two, but I want to make sure it'll be "worth it" to leave SF. When hiking, should we worry/take any extra precautions - mountain lions, bears, snakes, etc? We're coming from South Carolina and this will definitely be a new territory for us I take it locals are friendly and welcoming to tourists?

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You could happily stay there the entire time, but getting out into nature is also great in the area. There are snakes, and my son and I saw two bears over the summer while on a bike trail (Windsor Trail). Nothing is anymore dangerous than any other camping/hiking out west, though. Carry lots of water.