Believe it or not, I had a dream last night and "saw" the entire first debate (both nights). Here's a synopsis of how it went and what was said:

Orange Man Bad (OMB)

Whitey is the devil

Capitalism sucks(the word "unfettered" was heard a lot)

Immigration is the lifeblood of the USA. No distinction made between legal & illegal immigration. Wonder why?

Wall bad (racist). In fact, according to the debaters almost everything is racist.

Free Healthcare for all (no mention of how to pay for it, or who would pay for it).

Reparations (the largely Hispanic crowd in Miami really liked this idea).

President Trump should be put on trial after he loses in 2020, and every other Trump should be rounded up and placed in an internment camp.

LGBTQJFKRFKLBJ rights must be protected at all cost, and all straight white conservative males must attend a 6-week reeducation camp.

Women can abort their "babies" up until 1st grade.

Green. New. Freaking. Deal.

Felons can vote. Melons can vote. All God's children can vote. Literally.

Climate CHANGE is real, and America won't have any CHANGE left after these left-wing loons implement their proposals.

The national debt will be erased by having AOC expose her titties during a worldwide PPV event.

Bernie promises not to buy any more foreign sports cars or beachfront vacation homes in order to preserve his Socialist bonafides.

Beta O'Rourke did a killer Joe Cocker impression. When asked about it later Beta said, "Who's Joe Cocker?"

"Heels Up" Harris pledged to have sex with every straight man who votes for her. She later expanded her pledge to every straight man in the world, election be damned.

Pocahontas said she was wrong to claim Native American heritage, but divulged that she is now choosing to identify as a bisexual Muslim who wants to be addressed by her own personal pronoun (bocephus).

Mayor Pete said that, if elected, he would serve out his full term unless he was presented with an opportunity to be cast as one of the Lollipop Kids in a broadway version of The Wizard of Oz. "What can I tell you?" the Mayor explained. "My biggest fantasy has always been to lick stuff and get paid for it."

Cory Booker said he was not gay. He simply has an addiction to all-male bathhouses.

Sorry, but that's all I remember.

Mercury News

This post was edited on 6/15/19 at 11:45 am