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Started By
Message
7 Ways to be Less White
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:49 pm
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:49 pm
quote:
More and more corporations are requiring their employees to be less white, in an attempt to stop racism forever. But it's hard to know how to do that, since at first blush, that SEEMS really racist and impossible. But it's not. It's actually really easy if you follow these seven simple steps:
1. Burn all your Live, Laugh, Love signs. This is the first step to renouncing whiteness. Find every last "Live, Laugh, Love" sign in your home, every "Too Blessed To Be Stressed" trinket, and every "All I Need Is A Little Bit Of Coffee And A Whole Lot Of Jesus" mug and burn them as you think about your inherently sinful whiteness.
2. Rip off your skin. This is an easy one!
3. Kill yourself. Even easier! For best results, rip off your skin, then kill yourself.
4. Announce that you identify as a person of color. Wait, never mind. This one might be cultural appropriation. You also might be mistaken for a conservative trying to come up with a third joke.
5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go.
6. Take dance classes. This is a hard step, but it's worth it. As you learn to dance to a beat, your whiteness will begin to melt away.
7. Hate yourself every waking moment until you have sufficiently atoned for your whiteness. Oops! Spoiler alert: you'll never sufficiently atone for your whiteness. Better go back to step 3.
There you go! Racism ended forever!
It's hard to tell these days, but it's the Bee.
I don't think Coca-Cola is too far off from this.
This post was edited on 2/23/21 at 2:50 pm
10
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:50 pm to indianswim
Here’s one: frick you
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:51 pm to indianswim
My favorite was to be less ignorant
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:53 pm to indianswim
I identify as black.
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:54 pm to indianswim
1. Dance better
2. Play basketball better
3. Do math worse
4. Lose 200 pts from your Credit Score
5. Get penis enlargement
Welcome to the community!
2. Play basketball better
3. Do math worse
4. Lose 200 pts from your Credit Score
5. Get penis enlargement
Welcome to the community!
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:56 pm to indianswim
Actual white supremacists have to be loving what’s going on right now. The morons on the left give them validation every time they push this anti white narrative.
Posted on 2/23/21 at 2:58 pm to BlackHelicopterPilot
I got called in for a diversity awareness class .....
I went to Oklahoma
Got called in again.
Another wind farm in Oregon.
Got called in again.
Wind farm in Ontario.
Received my graduation certificate from HR. Did not take the class.
I went to Oklahoma
Got called in again.
Another wind farm in Oregon.
Got called in again.
Wind farm in Ontario.
Received my graduation certificate from HR. Did not take the class.
Posted on 2/23/21 at 3:11 pm to indianswim
quote:
5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go.
Done, what do I win?
Posted on 2/23/21 at 3:18 pm to indianswim
quote:
1. Burn all your Live, Laugh, Love signs. This is the first step to renouncing whiteness. Find every last "Live, Laugh, Love" sign in your home, every "Too Blessed To Be Stressed" trinket, and every "All I Need Is A Little Bit Of Coffee And A Whole Lot Of Jesus" mug and burn them as you think about your inherently sinful whiteness.
This one got me.
Posted on 2/23/21 at 3:33 pm to indianswim
quote:
5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go
I'll give you mayo. I can live with out it.
The rest of it, go frick yourself.
Posted on 2/23/21 at 3:38 pm to indianswim
I feel incredibly neglected. In all of this gender/race identification nonsense, I've been completely ignored.
I self identify as a multi-state lottery winner. I've written Texas, my home state, which laughed at me and told me it was a nice joke, all the way to the tri-state lottos up north, which simply told me to write back later as their programs are further developed.
I want my winnings. I identify as the lotto winner. I want my money. But nobody's paying attention. I feel really disenfranchised and robbed.
I self identify as a multi-state lottery winner. I've written Texas, my home state, which laughed at me and told me it was a nice joke, all the way to the tri-state lottos up north, which simply told me to write back later as their programs are further developed.
I want my winnings. I identify as the lotto winner. I want my money. But nobody's paying attention. I feel really disenfranchised and robbed.
Posted on 2/23/21 at 4:07 pm to indianswim
That's the same as asking any other race to cease being who they are. It sounds like a power grab to dominate/oppress/annihilate.
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