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indianswim
LA-Monroe Fan
Plano, TX
Member since Jan 2010
11473 posts

7 Ways to be Less White
quote:

More and more corporations are requiring their employees to be less white, in an attempt to stop racism forever. But it's hard to know how to do that, since at first blush, that SEEMS really racist and impossible. But it's not. It's actually really easy if you follow these seven simple steps:

1. Burn all your Live, Laugh, Love signs. This is the first step to renouncing whiteness. Find every last "Live, Laugh, Love" sign in your home, every "Too Blessed To Be Stressed" trinket, and every "All I Need Is A Little Bit Of Coffee And A Whole Lot Of Jesus" mug and burn them as you think about your inherently sinful whiteness.

2. Rip off your skin. This is an easy one!

3. Kill yourself. Even easier! For best results, rip off your skin, then kill yourself.

4. Announce that you identify as a person of color. Wait, never mind. This one might be cultural appropriation. You also might be mistaken for a conservative trying to come up with a third joke.

5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go.

6. Take dance classes. This is a hard step, but it's worth it. As you learn to dance to a beat, your whiteness will begin to melt away.

7. Hate yourself every waking moment until you have sufficiently atoned for your whiteness. Oops! Spoiler alert: you'll never sufficiently atone for your whiteness. Better go back to step 3.

There you go! Racism ended forever!


It's hard to tell these days, but it's the Bee.

I don't think Coca-Cola is too far off from this.
This post was edited on 2/23 at 2:50 pm


Tshiz
LSU Fan
Oxford
Member since Jul 2013
4178 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
Here’s one: frick you


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141
bstew3006
USA Fan
318
Member since Dec 2007
9183 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
My favorite was to be less ignorant


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70
Crimson Wraith
Alabama Fan
Member since Jan 2014
19607 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
I identify as black.


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50
BlackHelicopterPilot
LSU Fan
Top secret lab
Member since Feb 2004
51333 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
1. Dance better
2. Play basketball better
3. Do math worse
4. Lose 200 pts from your Credit Score
5. Get penis enlargement


Welcome to the community!



TigerOnTheMountain
US Navy Fan
Higher Elevation
Member since Oct 2014
20639 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White


Actual white supremacists have to be loving what’s going on right now. The morons on the left give them validation every time they push this anti white narrative.


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30
TD SponsorTD Fan
USA
Member since 2001
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bluedragon
Auburn Fan
Birmingham
Member since May 2020
2132 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
I got called in for a diversity awareness class .....

I went to Oklahoma

Got called in again.

Another wind farm in Oregon.

Got called in again.

Wind farm in Ontario.

Received my graduation certificate from HR. Did not take the class.


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20
Weekend Warrior79
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2014
6944 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
quote:

5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go.

Done, what do I win?


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Monday
LSU Fan
Prairieville
Member since Mar 2013
4339 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
quote:

1. Burn all your Live, Laugh, Love signs. This is the first step to renouncing whiteness. Find every last "Live, Laugh, Love" sign in your home, every "Too Blessed To Be Stressed" trinket, and every "All I Need Is A Little Bit Of Coffee And A Whole Lot Of Jesus" mug and burn them as you think about your inherently sinful whiteness.

This one got me.


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00
AURaptor
USA Fan
South
Member since Aug 2018
6019 posts
 Online 

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
quote:

5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go


I'll give you mayo. I can live with out it.

The rest of it, go frick yourself.


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BiteMe2020
Texas
Member since Nov 2020
5488 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
I feel incredibly neglected. In all of this gender/race identification nonsense, I've been completely ignored.

I self identify as a multi-state lottery winner. I've written Texas, my home state, which laughed at me and told me it was a nice joke, all the way to the tri-state lottos up north, which simply told me to write back later as their programs are further developed.

I want my winnings. I identify as the lotto winner. I want my money. But nobody's paying attention. I feel really disenfranchised and robbed.


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Ailsa
Member since May 2020
3006 posts

re: 7 Ways to be Less White
That's the same as asking any other race to cease being who they are. It sounds like a power grab to dominate/oppress/annihilate.


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