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You ever run into someone who always apologizes?
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:43 am
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:43 am
Got introduced to this dude at work recently, sometimes working with him over messenger, other times over the phone. This guy habitually says he's sorry. Ask him to do something, he does it, comes back and will say, "I'm sorry for the trouble". It's frustrating and makes him seem incredibly, eh, weak?
I'm not even sure how to handle it. Keep telling him he did nothing wrong so no need to apologize?
Did a quick Google search and apparently this is fairly common behavior by people who had traumatic childhoods where they had to walk on eggshells around their parents so they always apologize to avoid conflict. Pretty sad if that's the case.
Ever run across someone like this?
I'm not even sure how to handle it. Keep telling him he did nothing wrong so no need to apologize?
Did a quick Google search and apparently this is fairly common behavior by people who had traumatic childhoods where they had to walk on eggshells around their parents so they always apologize to avoid conflict. Pretty sad if that's the case.
Ever run across someone like this?
36
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:44 am to mmmmmbeeer
I’m sorry this happened to you
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:44 am to mmmmmbeeer
No. Sorry that I'm of no help.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:45 am to mmmmmbeeer
Apologizing is for Betas
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:48 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:The natural response to this would be that I’d be sorry if I did but I had a wonderful childhood.
Ever run across someone like this?
Conundrum
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:49 am to mmmmmbeeer
Yes! A colleague at work… He is a few years out of the Army and if he makes even the slightest of error or mis-speaks it’s an absolute apology session. In most cases, to the point of being embarrassing.
The rest of us aren’t perfect, but can think on our feet and correct the problem without a big scene.
The rest of us aren’t perfect, but can think on our feet and correct the problem without a big scene.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:50 am to hollowpoint
quote:
Yes! A colleague at work… He is a few years out of the Army and if he makes even the slightest of error or mis-speaks it’s an absolute apology session. In most cases, to the point of being embarrassing.
What do you say? Just acknowledge the apology or tell him he doesn't need to apologize?
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:51 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
Did a quick Google search and apparently this is fairly common behavior by people who had traumatic childhoods where they had to walk on eggshells around their parents so they always apologize to avoid conflict. Pretty sad if that's the case.
My wife had this problem with her father growing up, and she apologizes for everything. I'm trying to help her with it and so every time she does it, I stop her and make her rationalize what she's apologizing for exactly.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:54 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
this is fairly common behavior by people who had traumatic childhoods
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:54 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
Did a quick Google search and apparently this is fairly common behavior by people who had traumatic childhoods where they had to walk on eggshells around their parents so they always apologize to avoid conflict.
This is the most likely reason tbh. And outside of some behavioral therapy with a professional, I don't know what would fix it.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:55 am to efrad
quote:Some of her apologies are probably valid….
My wife….she apologizes for everything
This post was edited on 9/11/21 at 10:56 am
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:57 am to mmmmmbeeer
I can be that guy at times. I take too much ownership of everything, and have a nasty habit of promising things early, doing them a day later than the date promised (still getting them in earlier than the actual deadline) and I know that is irritating as hell.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 10:57 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
What do you say? Just acknowledge the apology or tell him he doesn't need to apologize?
I tell him it wasn’t that big of a deal, that the apology is more of a distraction than anything.
Recently made a formatting error in a document that was sent to a client. Minor mistake. Client highlights it and says fix this and I approve.
Our guy fixes the issue and sends back an apology: “I’m so sorry, this has been fixed. I’ll make sure to update our processes to ensure this never happens again. Thank you so much for pointing this out. Have a great day.”
Client pings me on the backend and is like WTF? This was minor… Laughed it off.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:01 am to Jcorye1
quote:
I can be that guy at times. I take too much ownership of everything, and have a nasty habit of promising things early, doing them a day later than the date promised (still getting them in earlier than the actual deadline) and I know that is irritating as hell.
I think a lot of people do that and that doesn't quite meet the apology levels this dude does.
For instance,
Me: Hey man, will you please look for a box that contains X and let me know if it arrived?
Him: Yes, I found the box.
Me: Thank you
Him: sorry for the trouble
Me: ?
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:03 am to mmmmmbeeer
I'm sorry, but no.
Is the guy British?
Is the guy British?
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:04 am to efrad
quote:
My wife had this problem
Same. It's annoying to some degree but also sad. In reality she's doing it because she has put herself beneath me and it almost creates this parent child relationship instead of being peers.
It's a major relationship struggle.
ETA: on a lighter note. I have a guy that reports to me that does it. If he messes up, sorry this sorry that. I don't want you to be mad at me. Are you mad at me? I'm sorry. It's embarrassing. I just say no worries dude.
This post was edited on 9/11/21 at 11:06 am
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:07 am to mmmmmbeeer
How much soy does this individual drink?
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:10 am to mmmmmbeeer
Get him the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:11 am to BoogaBear
quote:
In reality she's doing it because she has put herself beneath me and it almost creates this parent child relationship instead of being peers.
a-hole parents and rough childhood?
Posted on 9/11/21 at 11:22 am to mmmmmbeeer
I'm sorry I read your post.
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