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Started By
Message
To the woman that crapped in my car
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:56 pm
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:56 pm
We met on the internet so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at the Lakeview sharing that order of deep fried pickles while drinking the Mill Street Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. . .Touche. . .
I thought we had chemistry sitting at the Lakeview sharing that order of deep fried pickles while drinking the Mill Street Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. . .Touche. . .
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:57 pm to Martini
quote:fify
To the woman who crapped in my car
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:58 pm to Martini
Subtle brag thread is a subtle brag thread.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:58 pm to Martini
What? I thought you were married.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:58 pm to ell_13
fricking grammar Nazi. Just enjoy the post.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:59 pm to Martini
you are better than this copy and paste job
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:59 pm to Martini
That's funny shite right there
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:59 pm to SouthOfSouth
quote:
:Paige:
he knows wassup
Posted on 8/26/14 at 2:59 pm to Martini
I saw this at least a year ago... Very old.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 3:01 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
you are better than this copy and paste job
meh...it's 3pm on a Tuesday. I can't always be one. Look what happened to Robin Williams.
It was an old post if found while cleaning my files. I chuckled. Hell I'll post the chili judge just for old times sake.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 3:04 pm to Martini
quote:
It was an old post if found while cleaning my files. I chuckled. Hell I'll post the chili judge just for old times sake.
Find the Ryan's Steakhouse one and post it.
Half of the dumbasses here will think it's real.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 3:05 pm to Martini
Copy Pasted from Craigslist you fartmouth
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