Thread for OTers with aging parents

You aren’t alone. My mother, born in 1941, has Alzheimer’s and my father is taking care of her. He’s sharp but physically limited. They live out of state and so it’s getting tougher now.

It’s difficult.

My parents never took care of their bodies, so they’re hitting serious physical health issues in their early 60s. Their minds are still 100%, but my dad has had multiple surgeries for random muscle/tendon tears, has been diagnosed with diabetes, and receives pain killer shots in his back for a degenerative disc. He could have avoided this by losing weight decades ago.

What’s even harder though is seeing my FIL start to decline. When I met him, he was a 6’3 self-made multimillionaire who retired early at 57. The guy was the old school kind of alpha male and was shrewd as hell. He ran at least 3 miles every morning and lifted weights multiple times a week. Now he’s 75, hunches over a lot, has a limp. His mental faculties are showing signs of declining. He’ll just sit and kind of giggle during family hangouts. I think the grandkids and others talking are moving too fast for him. He falls asleep at random times and is having memory issues.

It’s bizarre and terrifying.

Going through the same thing with my dad, also 83. It is a challenge and there is lot of stress. Starting to get to the point where, as much as I hate it, a memory care facility is in the near future.

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I'm having trouble processing this...

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I'm having a lot of problems with my 80 year old dad. The physical things are minor, but the depression and mental issues are extreme.
It sucks to deal with.

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You're all lucky your people made it to their 80s

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Whew! What a load off. Guess we can all relax now. THEY MADE IT! That totally makes any hardship related to that age marker a non-factor.

You are a genius! A savant!

But for real....


Go frick yourself.

My parents are in their mid 40s so I realize I need to cherish the moments with them, probably not many left

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Go frick yourself.

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Chill out. His comment could have easily been from a place of missing his parents and just letting you know that you truly are lucky to have had so many years with yours without saying to suck it up and you shouldn't be complaining. Both can be true. You can find difficulty now but you have had more good years with your parents than a lot of people have had. My dad is 77. His dad died when he was 23. I feel lucky to have so many great memories with him and for my dad to be a grandfather to my kids. That has been a joy. He didn't have that.

This evening, I saw Warren Morris in Sam's Club.
(Google him if you dont know)
Anyway, it brought to mind the last game that I watched with Dad.
His dementia was in the advanced stages and he spent most of his time in bed. That night, he was agitated and confused.
The home run national championship was on replay and we began watching it.
About the 3rd inning, Dad told me,
"It's not looking good for our Tigers, son", not realizing it was a replay. I simply told him to wait and see.
About the 8th inning, his memory began to return and he began to remember the game.
In the bottom of the 9th when Morris hit the shot, we whooped and carried on like it just happened.
The next day Mama told me Dad was up till late remembering meeting Warren Morris at a crawfish boil or mardi Gras ball. It was a good night for him. It was a good night for me as well.
It's amazing how seeing a face in the store can bring on such good memories.

Thanks, Warren.

Wow. That’s a great story and a great memory for you to have. I lost my mom at age72. Lost my dad at 88. He suffer from dementia. It was horrible. He would drive to the store and thought he forgot his list so he would drive home to look for list. He finds no list and makes a new one and drives back to store and finds his first list in his pocket and then he forgot how to get home…. Very tough.