The value of the fetus

First time poster Alert:

But no better time than any. Conception and a baby’s life.

In February of 2014, I realized I was pregnant for the second time. Only being a few weeks and without insurance I knew to wait until 12 weeks to go for my first check up. We had previously paid $13,000 for our first kid with no med insurance.

Side note: this is when Obamacare was implied and a total joke and completely unaffordable to us tax payers.

At around 6 weeks of conception, I woke up GASPING for breath. The baby’s spirit had entered my body and (to my guessing) his heart started to beat. I do not kid, GASPING for breath. Never happened before or after this pregnancy.

Two (2) days later I woke up again, gasping, in the middle of the night and blurted out Phoenix James.
Way before I could have known he was male/female.

Here comes my 5 month checkup to find out that my baby is a boy and his heart did not pump hard enough. There was nothing for the docs to do but wait for my baby to reach a weight where his heart could no longer beat hard enough to keep him alive. He suffered from heart failure and retained water in his belly and even the palm of his hands.

My buddy, my only son, defied death by months and made it to 36 weeks before he parishad.

I know exactly when he died. I was taking a shower around noon on Saturday October 19th, 2014. My body felt an extreme jolt of energy. At the time, l thought it was just me being excited because the docs were finally preparing a birth plan. But in fact, his spirit, Phoenix James, was returning to where he came from.

I can not bring myself to tell you all about the realization and what happened during the delivery and the days after his death. 8 years later, it’s hard to settle.

And as a last thought: Hearing my 2 1/2 year old daughter moan,scream and cry at her young age over her brothers death was not only heart breaking but a real wake up call about how precious life truly is.

Babies feel everything. Especially love. I had a short 36 weeks with my son but his short life impacted me beyond all measures. He would have been a really great person. And I miss him everyday.

I’m asking for no sympathy. Just stating facts. Babies, even in the womb, have medical ailments and emotions. Life is precious no matter how short it may be.

Thank you for reading.