Posted by
The Red Stick
Member since May 2006
925 posts

Tales of a single father in EBR

Sitting here on a tailgate looking at blue lights and thought the participants of this fabulous board would like this……..

Divorced with 3 amazing young children. Have fought in the courts for over 4 years to protect my little ones from an abusive mother, only to learn the courts do not care what a mom does, fathers are always considered the bad guy.

Tonight, I’m at my house relaxing about to open a beer and I get a call from my son stating he is scared, and about to run to the neighbors house so answer if I see a strange number, then he hangs up. 5-8 minutes later I do get a call from an unrecognized number and it’s him, saying I’m at the neighbors house begging me to please help him. I talk to the homeowner who has no idea what’s going on, but say the mother and grandfather are knocking on his door.

I rush over, knock on the door. speak to the homeowner and ask where is my son. I get him and we walk outside to talk so I can learn what the hell is going on. Grandfather tries to stop me and say I can’t, and I inform him fairly polite I will and nothing is stopping that.

Fast forward a few and FOUR BR officers show up. They talk with the mom for 30
minutes, then talk with my son for 10 which he explains the concern for his safety and the past abuse he has experienced. They talk for another 30 minutes then I am read my rights stating I am being charged with disturbing the peace.

Moral of story…. Don’t be a divorced father with kids you love and would do anything to protect.

Ghost of Colby
Alberta, overlooking B.C.
Member since Jan 2009
10039 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Damn man. My only suggestion is to get the kids counseling. There’s no telling why they have and continue to experience.

Talk to their teachers, coaches etc. Anyone that has contact with them, and let them know their home life in unstable. Don’t throw the mom under the bus, or give details. Simply let them know to keep an eye out for any changes in behavior.

You’ve probably spent a small fortune on attorneys, but continue to keep legal counsel in the loop.

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I am the moral conscience of TD
Member since Jul 2007
137915 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR

this fabulous board
thank you

I've had help of course

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Ask your mom where I been
Member since Nov 2007
74612 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
All part of that patriarch I keep hearing about

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Member since Mar 2019
5004 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR

earn the courts do not care what a mom does, fathers are always considered the bad guy.

I'm not trying to be a dick, but I knew this before I got married. And then divorced.

One of my parents was OOD (officer of the deck), which essentially meant on call for the shift, for anything that went down on that base overseas for a few years. There were moms that put their kids on hot electric stove tops in bare feet to teach them a lesson, that routinely retained custody over a father that didn't want his kids burned anymore.

Sorry for your shite. It can be better. My first six months sucked donkey balls. After that, it got better.

Member since Oct 2010
1953 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Damn brother, I went through a really nasty divorce about 6 years ago. My ex was in a rough patch and I mean it was bad. She’s was arrested multiple times, made false accusations and got caught, etc. This goes on for another year and I gave her an ultimatum….. straighten up or I’m packing up with our son and moving to Dallas to live with my mom.

Believe it or not my ex got it together and now she’s av great mother. The worst part about it all was I was raising the kid while she was getting her life straightened out and I still had to drop a massive amount of money in the court system to get sole custody. I hate the victim mentality but if there is any group in America who is truly discriminated against it’s single dad’s trying to get custody of their kids.

Stay strong brother, I promise it’ll get better but having to worry about your kid when they are with their mom is a feeling no one wants to go through.

My ex’s family is great, I’m just as close as they are my real family. I’m great friends with her dad and we do a lot of hunting and he owns a lot of land with access to fishing, etc.

I held a grudge against my ex for fighting me about custody but she grew out of her immature stage and we are actually close now.

I would suggest church and finding a small group with single dads. This is a very common occurrence and luckily I had the money to continue the fight and it finally got settled. I can’t imagine why judges are so hard on men who have their shit shite together.

Anyway, pray about it and be the bigger person all the time, the kids are paying attention and pick up on everything.

Praying for you brother, I promise it gets better. I hope you and your ex can find some common ground.

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Mid Iowa Tiger
Iowa State Fan
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
17767 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Sorry you’re going through it. I know EXACTLY what you’re saying. The deck is stacked against us and all we can do is try to live our children through it.

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Member since Dec 2016
9827 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Divorce Reform is desperately needed in this country.

it's sad.

Warren, Michigan
Member since Jan 2010
37289 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
So what did you do to earn a disturbing the peace charge?

Auburn Fan
Member since Nov 2014
28243 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
I am so sorry, you are a good father.

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TD SponsorTD Fan
Member since 2001
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St. George, LA
Member since Mar 2022
115 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Laurie Marien. If she doesn’t win judge, hire her as your attorney. She got custody of my daughter wrestled away from my psycho ex and granted to me in spectacular fashion. Having said that, vote for her for family court judge.

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Member since Oct 2012
1294 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
There is nothing equal in equal rights. The system is set to screw the male.

The good news is the son knows you were there for him and knows who he can count on.

Take the high road and when he is 18, hopefully the ex wife will have many lonely holidays wondering why the kids have picked your house over hers.

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Member since Jul 2013
5177 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Just think of how many men are sitting at home putting up with a mountain of bull shite just so they don't have to fight that battle.

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US Space Force Fan
Member since Oct 2022
777 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR

Tales of a single father in EBR

Sorry. It can change. Get a good lawyer and document everything. It took some time, but I did this and ended up with FULL custody of my daughter. Your kids are worth the time and expense.

By the way, she had to pay me child support.

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Yankees Fan
Member since Apr 2012
16964 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
My ex called the police reporting I stabbed my son

Investigators knocked on my door at 3am scaring the crap out of us. They demanded to speak to my 8yo son.

I pull him out of bed, cops talk to him and inspect him for wounds and only found a pimple sized scab from a bug bite

They went back to the mom and threatened to put her in jail next time

Single dad life is not for the weak of heart

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Georgia Fan
Member since Nov 2012
8945 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Sorry dude.

Why the hell has all this equity and equality bs not translated to the legal system regarding custody and divorce?

Only good news is divorce rate is dropping thanks to millennials being selfish and not having kids or getting married.

Keep doing what you know to be right and the best role model you can be for them.

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Member since May 2008
43335 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
I’m really sorry you are having to deal with this

Member since Nov 2007
28937 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Where do y'all find these psychos?

Member since Aug 2011
13645 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
What did you do during the “fast forward” to get a disturbing the peace charge?

Member since Sep 2018
6565 posts

re: Tales of a single father in EBR
Imagine trying to explain to your Company Commander, then being drug into court under subpoena (sent through before mentioned military channels), spend the entire day in family family court explaining why I had neglected to make a single child support payment to my ex-wife and why the state had to garnish my salary, and took months to get the garnishment terminated.......

the ex-wife who lost custody of my two sons many years before, was ordered to pay support to but has never paid a dime.

The judge told me suing a woman for child support had NEVER been successful in the state of OK.

This was 35 years ago and she's still never paid a dime, but it did take over 6 months to get the garnishment ended, the money they stole from me and my sons never was returned.
This post was edited on 9/17 at 7:17 am

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