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Kids during grad school

Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:02 pm
Posted by HotTakes
Member since Sep 2021
1498 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:02 pm
Any of you baws had kids while in grad school/residency/etc? How hard was that work school life balance? Worth it? Any advice?
Posted by O
Mandeville
Member since Oct 2011
6443 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:04 pm to
It'll be one of the hardest things you may ever do. Be extra patient with your significant other and ask they show you the same courtesy. If you're feeling discouraged or frustrated just remember you are playing the long game for the betterment of those children.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10307 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:04 pm to
Yes. It’s temporary. Time will pass anyway. Go for it.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32702 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:04 pm to
We have 2 kids (2&5) and my wife is getting her Masters at night.

It's a struggle and extra work for each of us, but it's only temporary pain.
Posted by whoa
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2017
4557 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:07 pm to
Finished my masters last year with a kid. I waited til she started school to go back. Did most of my work at night when she went to bed.
Posted by wileyjones
Member since May 2014
2282 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:07 pm to
grad school is where it's at baby

no bullshite filler classes, just your domain you're interested in. plus usually better living conditions, more spending money, etc.

now if you have a wife, kids and a full time job, maybe don't take 12 hours a semester. speaking from experience.
Posted by Herschal
Land of the Free
Member since Sep 2011
1508 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:07 pm to
First kid was born during grad school. It is an absolute drag to have to work all day, be a good parent, and then study at night. Dedication is required.

I would not be discouraged. It can be done. I spent more time on the weeknights after bedtime getting work done so that my weekends were mostly free.

Spouse needs to be supportive as well to make it work.
Posted by HotTakes
Member since Sep 2021
1498 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:08 pm to
The schools worked with you while the kids were being born?
Posted by 3nOut
Central Texas, TX
Member since Jan 2013
28817 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:09 pm to
i'm old enough to remember both my parents getting their masters separately.

we don't talk anymore because of my abandonment issues during that time.
Posted by bird35
Georgia
Member since Sep 2012
12141 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:11 pm to
I went to grad school. Two things were true. I was broke as the program had a ton of class work plus several hours of clinical per week and outside jobs were close to impossible.

And I had very little time.

Also, grad school is only 18 months to 2 years. Just wait until you are done.

The first two years of having a child are tough and can stress a marriage. Don’t add grad school to the mix.

Posted by A Smoke Break
Lafayette
Member since Nov 2018
2060 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:12 pm to
Oof, I'm facing my MBA in the face next year in my mid 30s and the realization is hitting me hard.
Posted by Kay
Member since Mar 2011
1944 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:13 pm to
Online if possible is the way to go. I put in about 4 hours on the weekend mornings.
Posted by go_tigres
Member since Sep 2013
5152 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:15 pm to
I finished my undergrad and earned my masters in various stages of having kids while working full-time. When I started, I had 3 and by the time I finished we had 5. Patience and persistence are key.
Posted by CaptainsWafer
TD Platinum Member
Member since Feb 2006
58305 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:15 pm to
I can’t speak for the work/school balance, but my wife (no pics) started her PhD right after we had our first kid. We adapted and made it happen.
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
52910 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:17 pm to
quote:

Any of you baws had kids while in grad school

You gonna have a “theyby” college boy?
Posted by tiger91
In my own little world
Member since Nov 2005
36703 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:17 pm to
I had a baby and the day he turned 6 weeks old, I went back to work (fulltime), back to grad school 3 nights a week and was SO thankful for my awesome husband.

That was my last semester and at the time, I didn't think twice about it ... Now?? I don't know how in the hell I did that.

But I did. Have patience and grace and ask for help and show gratitude for that help.
Posted by auwaterfowler
Alabama
Member since Jan 2020
1920 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:22 pm to
Two of my kids are in post-bachelors programs and still on my payroll, but that’s not as bad as you guys and gals having babies while trying to finish school. God bless you.
Posted by real turf fan
East Tennessee
Member since Dec 2016
8594 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:24 pm to
Several years after Grad School, I went to a major national meeting. I worked at remembering my fellow students' wives' names. That was a total waste of time as all had gotten divorced. Twelve of twelve. Fortunately none had children.
Posted by blueridgeTiger
Granbury, TX
Member since Jun 2004
20218 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:34 pm to
Ha had a four year old son, and one year old daughter when I entered graduate school. My wife was an RN and work a midnight shift. Our social life was almost nonexistent.
Posted by GarmischTiger
Humboldt County
Member since Mar 2007
6608 posts
Posted on 2/6/23 at 4:36 pm to
Treat it like a job - 8-10 hours per day.

Class, and study on campus - even on days when you don't have class.

If your experience is like mine, you won't get sh*t done at home during daylight hours.
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