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Started By
Message
GMT
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:00 am
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:00 am
Morning all
JOTD
I hate double standards. When a guy hooks up with a lot of girls, he’s a “player”…
But when I do it, I’m a “lesbian”
JOTD
I hate double standards. When a guy hooks up with a lot of girls, he’s a “player”…
But when I do it, I’m a “lesbian”
This post was edited on 8/14/22 at 6:15 am
18
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:01 am to dyslexiateechur
Crashed out early last night - got that old familiar chemo crash. Slept till midnight:30 and have been up since.
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:02 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning everyone
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:03 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning. hbd Mila Kunis
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:04 am to dyslexiateechur
Mawnin y’all
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:32 am to dyslexiateechur
Good morning
Posted on 8/14/22 at 4:33 am to dyslexiateechur
Good morning, folks. 
Coffee?
An Elderly Irish lady visits her physician
To ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.
"Not a chance" she replied. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem," said the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra.”
"What on Earth is Irish Viagra?" she asked.
"It's Viagra dissolved in his morning cup of coffee. He won't even taste it. Let me know how it goes," he said.
She called the doctor the very next afternoon. "How did it go?" he asked.
"Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah, doctor, it was terrible. Just horrid, I tell ya! I'm beside meself!"
"Oh, no! What in the world happened?"
"Well, I did the deed, Doctor, just as you advised. I put the Viagra in his morning coffee, and he drank it. Well, you know, it took effect almost immediately, and he jumped straight up out of his chair with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and his pants a-bulging. Then, with one fierce swoop of his arm, he sent the cups, saucers, and everything else that was on the table flying across the room, ripped me clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there, right on top of the table. T’was a nightmare, I tell ya, an absolute nightmare!"
“Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Wasn't the sex good?"
"Freakin jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in me last 25 years, but sure as I'm sittin' here, Doctor...
I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
Coffee?
An Elderly Irish lady visits her physician
To ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.
"Not a chance" she replied. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem," said the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra.”
"What on Earth is Irish Viagra?" she asked.
"It's Viagra dissolved in his morning cup of coffee. He won't even taste it. Let me know how it goes," he said.
She called the doctor the very next afternoon. "How did it go?" he asked.
"Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah, doctor, it was terrible. Just horrid, I tell ya! I'm beside meself!"
"Oh, no! What in the world happened?"
"Well, I did the deed, Doctor, just as you advised. I put the Viagra in his morning coffee, and he drank it. Well, you know, it took effect almost immediately, and he jumped straight up out of his chair with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and his pants a-bulging. Then, with one fierce swoop of his arm, he sent the cups, saucers, and everything else that was on the table flying across the room, ripped me clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there, right on top of the table. T’was a nightmare, I tell ya, an absolute nightmare!"
“Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Wasn't the sex good?"
"Freakin jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in me last 25 years, but sure as I'm sittin' here, Doctor...
I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
Posted on 8/14/22 at 5:05 am to dyslexiateechur
Posted on 8/14/22 at 5:18 am to Hangit
Posted on 8/14/22 at 5:40 am to dyslexiateechur
Mornin
Posted on 8/14/22 at 5:46 am to dyslexiateechur
Posted on 8/14/22 at 5:49 am to dyslexiateechur
Good morning
Posted on 8/14/22 at 6:00 am to madamsquirrel
gm ms
One more?
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night, thought you might like to come. About 5:00.” “Great”, says Tom, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.” As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you ... be some drinkin.” “Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.” Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.” “Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, thanks again.” “More’n likely be some wild sex, too.” “Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?” “Don’t much matter ... just gonna be the two of us.”
One more?
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night, thought you might like to come. About 5:00.” “Great”, says Tom, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.” As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you ... be some drinkin.” “Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.” Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.” “Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, thanks again.” “More’n likely be some wild sex, too.” “Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?” “Don’t much matter ... just gonna be the two of us.”
Posted on 8/14/22 at 6:22 am to Hangit
How you hangin, hangit?
Posted on 8/14/22 at 6:26 am to dyslexiateechur
Mornin OT
Posted on 8/14/22 at 6:56 am to Horsemeat
gm hm
I am pretty good, I guess. My little, minor cancer is back. (Nothing like yours.) I had a place on my shin biopsied and it came back as small-cell Squamish, apparently spreading, and putting out feelers. I get cut the first week of Sept.
I am pretty good, I guess. My little, minor cancer is back. (Nothing like yours.) I had a place on my shin biopsied and it came back as small-cell Squamish, apparently spreading, and putting out feelers. I get cut the first week of Sept.
Posted on 8/14/22 at 6:57 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning
Posted on 8/14/22 at 6:58 am to TexasTiger89
Happy Lord's Day to you
Posted on 8/14/22 at 7:02 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning everyone! Good jotd teech. Good jokes Hangit. Gonna have a busy Sunday.
Posted on 8/14/22 at 7:26 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning GMTers.
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