re: Considering rebooting my life

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Do you know what you want to do with your life?

I used to, but I do not any more. I spent my teens and 20's planning to be able to be a husband and father to support a family. I saw passions as selfish and only cared about having a career that would allow me to support others financially because I thought that was the only measurement that mattered. I was married, then I discovered that I couldn't have kids of my own, and my wife left me. I have struggled for general direction ever since.

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After reading all of this thread I think a few things:

1. A really lot of people satisfy their passions by doing things like volunteering, exercising (if it's their passion), singing in a choir or similar type band that only practices once a week and performs sometimes...or maybe more. I work with a guy who is a marketing guy, but plays in a band in Houston on the weekends, writes music, and has 2 children and a wife. You can do all these things...but you just hustle all the time and don't have down time. For him, performing is his recharging down time. You like trying new foods? Learn to cook them and cater part time. In Nola, if you've got a great personality, but together foodie tours and share it with others. Move and like somewhere you can hike on the weekend. Example: My hairstylist is very creative. He is excellent and teaches (mostly on Sunday) in addition to working. He is really good at what he does and with a few others, he has started these hair shows for stylists. It's fun for him and makes a little money. He also has started a line of clothing. He sews on stuff, paints and distresses, etc. He isn't gay and also has a 4th grade daughter that lives with him.

2. You sound like a creative type person. Not surprising you don't like law. But things like law, accounting, engineering, IT...a really lot of it is the grunt details. They are detail oriented professions and if you hate that and think you only care about the big picture...in those careers, that's a problem. The absolute very top people are the big picture ones and they've put in their dues with the details and should know all that stuff. Also, a lot of the time, you pay your dues and the first few years you work a shite ton of hours.

3. In construction, you may have worked for the wrong company. There's all kinds. Maybe you could combine your construction experience with law...contracts? It's detailed though.

4. Sounds like you had your life sort of planned out and it slapped you in the face when it turned out differently. That's a hard thing. Not sure it sounds like you've recovered. Do you still need to get over that to figure out what to do next?

5. If you really have no clue, take some of these folks offers and spend a year working offshore or something similar. I bet after that time, you'll figure out why you don't want to do that forever and that law isn't so bad. This sounds mean, but you sound a little like the young nurses, healthcare workers, therapists, etc. at my hospital. They always have something that they are complaining about, don't like. I feel like they haven't even worked enough places or lived enough to know how well they have it. Life isn't perfect. Things happen. You adapt and survive...or not. You have some growing up to do.

Looking for fulfillment in work is the issue. Work to live, don’t live to work.

To add on to this, maybe try to find something you don’t mind doing. You don’t have to be in love with it. That’s why it’s called work. Very few people find something they love more than their hobbies. Most everything in life takes a certain amount of sacrifice and hard times. I think not having kids and a family you don’t have all this in perspective. I’m not suggesting you go get a wife and kids if you don’t want that, LOL, but my kids changed the way I look at everything.

Sorry to hear that.

Make a list. You don’t have to share it with us. But make a 2x2 grid. One box is what you liked about construction and law, another is what you liked about construction and didn’t like about law, what you liked about law and not construction, and what you dislike about both. Then think about your ideal job. You don’t strike me as dumb, so I suspect you have options.

Don’t worry about taking out loans. You can always earn more money. Your fulfillment is more important.

And lawyers down there don’t make shite for a living

I’m staying in the same industry but relocating to a place I know no one and I feel like I need the fresh start badly

Come out west and do some seasonal work at a national park or some ski resort.

Aint going to make a ton of money, but its better than you'd think. Work, and just be done with a bunch of stuff outdoors to do in your downtime. Easy to meet people, since there are a lot of seasonal workers bouncing around.

The experience looks a lot like being in college again, but with less guilt about not studying.

A friend of mine has a law degree, doesn't practice. Never sees the inside of a court room. He's a corporate attorney & makes about $250k. 8-5, no weekends, fat & happy.

I recently made a career change at 36. Worked 15 years in O&G as an engineer and then account manager. On call 24/7 but worked my own schedule. I’ve been working as an engineer for the navy for 5 months. Work my 8 hours and gtfo. I enjoy what I do, my colleagues are great, and it’s something new every day. Still adjusting to the speed of govt vs private industry, but I’ll get there. Work/life balance at this age means more to me than income. Also think that location change would be beneficial. I’ve moved around most of my life and have enjoyed the different experiences.

You should probably go to Tigerdroppings and ask them.