New Orleans Pelicans 131 vs. Houston Rockets 112: NICE HAIR ELFRID

SONS, I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS frickING shite DOWN WITH SOME IN DEPTH frickING ANALYSIS THAT'LL MAKE ZACH LOWE TAKE NOTES.

ANTHONY MARSHON DAVIS JR

IT IS frickING TIME. AD WILL BE AT HIS PEAK POWERS RIGHT THE frick NOW SONS. HE'S LISTED AS THE BEST CENTER AND PF BY GMS IN THE LEAGUE. HE WILL frickING EAT AND shite DESTRUCTION IN A MANNER THAT WILL MAKE RAMBO MOVIES LOOK G RATED.

I DON'T HAVE TO SAY ONE frickING THING ELSE ABOUT HIM. HIS GAME WILL SHOW IT. YOU CAN DREAD IT. FEAR IT. RUN FROM IT. DESTINY ARRIVES ALL MOTHERfrickING GODDAMN SAME.

JRUE

SON, POINT AT JAMES HARDEN'S STUPID frickING BEARD THAT HIDES HIS UGLY frickING FACE. SPEAKING OF HAIR I HOPE YOU SAW THE CHARTS PELS TALK AND THE INTERNET POSTED.

NIKO/RANDLE/PAYTON/MOORE

KEY PLAYERS AND THE BIGGEST CONTRIBUTORS WE GOT OUTSIDE OF OUR BEST TWO PLAYERS.

WITH PAYTONS HAIRCUT I EXPECT NOTHING frickING LESS THAN 50/40/90 THIS YEAR.

BABY FACE NIKO IS ALL ABOUT SMOOTH AS A BABYS arse 3s SONS.

WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY PLAYERS THAT WILL PLAY WELL DUE TO THEIR frickING HAIR?!?!?!? I frickING DIGRESS...

RANDLE, BULL IN A CHINA SHOP. YOU AND AD DOWN LOW THIS YEAR IS A NIGHTMARE FOR EVERY TEAM IN THE LEAGUE. 6TH MAN OF THE frickING YEAR.

MOORE I GOT RESPECT, I PLAYED GUYS BIGGER ON THE COURT ALL MY LIFE. YOU GIVE 100% EVERY NIGHT AT THE 3.

HILL

GODDAMNIT

OKAFOR

I DONT GIVE A frick WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE WITHOUT A SHIRT ON. YOU BETTER SHOW UP ON D.

MILLER/CLARK

IF ONE OF THEM IS ON THIS GAME WILL BE FUN. IF BOTH ARE ON IT'LL GET UGLY.


AS FOR THE ROX...

CHRIS PAUL YOU MAY BE A GREAT POINT GUARD BUT YOU ARE A frickING COCKSUCKER FOR GOING AFTER AD'S LEGS IN THE OPEN COURT. NEVERFORGET

JAMES HARDEN IS AN AMAZING PLAYER, AND UNFORTUNATELY WE ARENT PLAYING HIM IN A BIG PLAYOFF GAME, SO HE'LL PROBABLY PLAY VERY WELL.

MELO IS ALSO SOMEHOW GOING TO GO FROM BEING ONE OF THE WORST PLAYERS IN THE LEAGUE TO 6TH MAN SO frick US I GUESS HAHAHAHAHA.

PELS W
ROX L

WE frickING FLAPPING IN HOUSTONS FINEST frickING STRIP CLUBS AFTER THE GAME.