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Started By
Message
Finally watched Star Wars 9
Posted on 3/18/20 at 1:27 am
Posted on 3/18/20 at 1:27 am
It popped up on the torrent sites a while back, but I didn't feel like watching it until now. I had some thoughts upon finally watching this movie.
And here are those thoughts:
The opening crawl mentions the Emperor right off the bat. I guess one of the movie posters did that already, so I guess they wanted to get people back into the theaters with it. So much for the surprise reveal. That might have been the only good part, or the shittiest.
Never mind. There he is. How 'bout that?
Who built all these star destroyers?
So the Emperor wants Kylo to kill Rey but won't give him some piece of vital information? That's either really stupid or really obviously deceptive.
Man, if these people wrote half as well as they FX, these would be the most successful films of all time.
Light speed skipping?
And always right into the middle of some random city. This is going to be a long post.
They jump from thing to thing before the audience can fully process what they've seen. Good thing. Nothing really makes sense.
Leia = Chef from South Park
This dialog is stupid. Holy shite, just as I type this, they're topping the stupidity again and again.
She's going to "pick up Luke's search?" He was drinking space cow titty milk when she found him.
Space monkeys
Holy shite, it's fricking Burning Man.
Oh right, force skyping. You're a fricking hack, JJ.
Lando reveal was random. I guess the ROTJ disguise helmet was supposed to make me not think about it.
The dude-launching speeders.
They both get blown off their ships at exactly the same time, and right into the space quicksand. And right into the exact spot where the the Klingon dagger is. This movie was written by idiots.
Holy shite. I'm only 33 minutes into the movie.
Rey force heals the snake for no other reason than to establish that she can do it. See above.
The Rey fight scene with the cliche head turns and other stock action shots is just absurd.
Chewy death (yes I know) tries to imitate the LotR Gandalf death in both tone and style.
We're already doing stuff "for Chewy." Like, in the next scene.
So they get the medallion thing that they only need to get on the ship, just when they find out they need to get on the ship. Yes! Of course!
Is anyone on this star destroyer? They just roam around everywhere and no one is there.
Pew Pew. "I'm the spy." WTF? :lol:
I can't feel the full force of The Rey palpatine reveal stupidity because I already knew. I did get to feel the full stupidity of the "force diad," though. Wow. :lol:
And the spy is dead. He was a spy just long enough to get them off the ship.
And here are those thoughts:
The opening crawl mentions the Emperor right off the bat. I guess one of the movie posters did that already, so I guess they wanted to get people back into the theaters with it. So much for the surprise reveal. That might have been the only good part, or the shittiest.
Never mind. There he is. How 'bout that?
Who built all these star destroyers?
So the Emperor wants Kylo to kill Rey but won't give him some piece of vital information? That's either really stupid or really obviously deceptive.
Man, if these people wrote half as well as they FX, these would be the most successful films of all time.
Light speed skipping?
And always right into the middle of some random city. This is going to be a long post. They jump from thing to thing before the audience can fully process what they've seen. Good thing. Nothing really makes sense.
Leia = Chef from South Park
This dialog is stupid. Holy shite, just as I type this, they're topping the stupidity again and again.
She's going to "pick up Luke's search?" He was drinking space cow titty milk when she found him.
Space monkeys
Holy shite, it's fricking Burning Man.
Oh right, force skyping. You're a fricking hack, JJ.
Lando reveal was random. I guess the ROTJ disguise helmet was supposed to make me not think about it.
The dude-launching speeders.
They both get blown off their ships at exactly the same time, and right into the space quicksand. And right into the exact spot where the the Klingon dagger is. This movie was written by idiots.
Holy shite. I'm only 33 minutes into the movie.
Rey force heals the snake for no other reason than to establish that she can do it. See above.
The Rey fight scene with the cliche head turns and other stock action shots is just absurd.
Chewy death (yes I know) tries to imitate the LotR Gandalf death in both tone and style.
We're already doing stuff "for Chewy." Like, in the next scene.
So they get the medallion thing that they only need to get on the ship, just when they find out they need to get on the ship. Yes! Of course!
Is anyone on this star destroyer? They just roam around everywhere and no one is there.
Pew Pew. "I'm the spy." WTF? :lol:
I can't feel the full force of The Rey palpatine reveal stupidity because I already knew. I did get to feel the full stupidity of the "force diad," though. Wow. :lol:
And the spy is dead. He was a spy just long enough to get them off the ship.
5
Posted on 3/18/20 at 1:28 am to blueboy
The sith dagger lines up perfectly to where they happen to be standing. Nice.
She's sailing now, even though she comes from a desert planet. Nice. Hey, don't they have flying machines in this universe?
So they had Leia die just for that one moment. These people have no souls. She wasn't necessary to anything, really. They just CGI'd her in there to fill seats.
Then Rey just force heals him and leaves, so it was all pointless. k.
And we have ghost Han Solo, except he's not a ghost because China. So this scene makes zero sense. frick it. Why not?
Now the planet blowing upping. Can't have Star Wars without that, apparently.
Lando returns randomly, again, for no real reason but to finish Poe's sentence.
She's burning the tie fighter with some wood she found.
And Luke is back, but he glows. Han didn't get to glow. He still gets to be a ghost that's not a ghost because China, but he doesn't get to glow. Only Jedi get to glow, but their non-ghost force ghosts are in no way different from the regular person's non-ghost force ghost. Good to know.
Cut scene just to show Luke losing to Leia. Check
The whole wayfinder thing is stupid. The X-Wing callback thing is stupid.
"We need to pull some Holdo maneuvers."
Finn using the force now, just because they needed a way to know what they had to do.
The black chick has a bow and arrow. Nice.
So we're doing the "watch your friends lose" thing again?
Oh right, the force diad thing. It regenerates Palpatine. Of course it does.
The giant fleet is cool, and they trotted out Wedge before I had a chance to think about it. Thanks. Army of the people. Bernie for president. Nice.
Why does Finn have to talk into his wrist? Everyone else just uses the intercom.
And lesbians, Rey Skywalker, and that's a wrap.
Wow. That might be the worst written movie I've ever seen. Anyone who thinks JJ was "forced" to do this is a moron. It felt like it was written by idiot children. It assumes the audience is stupid, so it tries to overload the senses before anyone can think about why anything is happening. The problem is that you don't have to think about why it's happening, because what's happening is stupid just by itself.
Wow, that was bad.
She's sailing now, even though she comes from a desert planet. Nice. Hey, don't they have flying machines in this universe?
So they had Leia die just for that one moment. These people have no souls. She wasn't necessary to anything, really. They just CGI'd her in there to fill seats.
Then Rey just force heals him and leaves, so it was all pointless. k.
And we have ghost Han Solo, except he's not a ghost because China. So this scene makes zero sense. frick it. Why not?
Now the planet blowing upping. Can't have Star Wars without that, apparently.
Lando returns randomly, again, for no real reason but to finish Poe's sentence.
She's burning the tie fighter with some wood she found.
And Luke is back, but he glows. Han didn't get to glow. He still gets to be a ghost that's not a ghost because China, but he doesn't get to glow. Only Jedi get to glow, but their non-ghost force ghosts are in no way different from the regular person's non-ghost force ghost. Good to know.
Cut scene just to show Luke losing to Leia. Check
The whole wayfinder thing is stupid. The X-Wing callback thing is stupid.
"We need to pull some Holdo maneuvers."
Finn using the force now, just because they needed a way to know what they had to do.
The black chick has a bow and arrow. Nice.
So we're doing the "watch your friends lose" thing again?
Oh right, the force diad thing. It regenerates Palpatine. Of course it does.
The giant fleet is cool, and they trotted out Wedge before I had a chance to think about it. Thanks. Army of the people. Bernie for president. Nice.
Why does Finn have to talk into his wrist? Everyone else just uses the intercom.
And lesbians, Rey Skywalker, and that's a wrap.
Wow. That might be the worst written movie I've ever seen. Anyone who thinks JJ was "forced" to do this is a moron. It felt like it was written by idiot children. It assumes the audience is stupid, so it tries to overload the senses before anyone can think about why anything is happening. The problem is that you don't have to think about why it's happening, because what's happening is stupid just by itself.
Wow, that was bad.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 2:22 am to blueboy
RoS is a giant awful mess. A terrible movie.
It only seems not so awful because it follows the worst of the worst...the whale shite on the bottom of the ocean that is TLJ.
But RoS is putrid. I watched it in the theater after it had been released for a while. It came very close to being the 4th movie I’ve ever walked out on. The only reason I made myself stay was because I felt that I just had to see it through with a little hope for some shred of decent storytelling or filmmaking...some tiny grain that I could take out of the experience. It never came.
It was a really odd feeling. I was watching Star Wars in the theater and I was just wanting it to hurry up and be over. I never imagined that I would ever feel such a way.
It only seems not so awful because it follows the worst of the worst...the whale shite on the bottom of the ocean that is TLJ.
But RoS is putrid. I watched it in the theater after it had been released for a while. It came very close to being the 4th movie I’ve ever walked out on. The only reason I made myself stay was because I felt that I just had to see it through with a little hope for some shred of decent storytelling or filmmaking...some tiny grain that I could take out of the experience. It never came.
It was a really odd feeling. I was watching Star Wars in the theater and I was just wanting it to hurry up and be over. I never imagined that I would ever feel such a way.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 4:50 am to LuckyTiger
Many of the new Star Wars movie are far to much the same thing.
The Han movie is the best at getting away from that sameness of these newer movies.
Only one of the movies so far stands out, everyone knows which one it is, but my friend maybe right all along the Han is the 2nd best and can Disney really make a movie on Star Wars without retelling the same story over and over again?
The Han movie is the best at getting away from that sameness of these newer movies.
Only one of the movies so far stands out, everyone knows which one it is, but my friend maybe right all along the Han is the 2nd best and can Disney really make a movie on Star Wars without retelling the same story over and over again?
Posted on 3/18/20 at 5:18 am to tigger1
The sith dagger and rey having no consequence for using force healing absolutely ruin the movie for me more than anything
Posted on 3/18/20 at 9:18 am to LuckyTiger
quote:I really wanted to turn it off, but I had already written most of the OP, so I toughed it out.
It came very close to being the 4th movie I’ve ever walked out on. The only reason I made myself stay was because I felt that I just had to see it through with a little hope for some shred of decent storytelling or filmmaking...some tiny grain that I could take out of the experience. It never came.
The worst part is that JJ Abrams seems to get a pass because of Johnson and TLJ. He shouldn't. This was a scatterbrained mess in which everyone's really stupid idea was given weight and was put into the movie. Producers never make a movie good. They either get out of the way, or they ruin it, and it seems as though a whole bunch of them pulverized this poor movie.
And now, the only thing they've accomplished is that audiences will associate "girl power" with total crap, so they've screwed other women in entertainment as well.
This post was edited on 3/18/20 at 9:35 am
Posted on 3/18/20 at 10:12 am to blueboy
Hey look! another Star Wars hot take.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 10:15 am to blueboy
I disagreed with a lot of your OP and the post after it and I was still throughly entertained by it.
I can and do respect a fan who will take the time to nitpick a franchise he's clearly knowledgeable about.
I can and do respect a fan who will take the time to nitpick a franchise he's clearly knowledgeable about.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 10:31 am to Sentrius
quote:bs no way you read that
I disagreed with a lot of your OP and the post after it and I was still throughly entertained by
Posted on 3/18/20 at 10:47 am to musick
quote:
hot take.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 10:58 am to blueboy
Not counting Kennedy, how many of them were legit into Star Wars before Disney bought it? Passively watching the films doesn’t count.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 11:02 am to blueboy
It was a shite ton better than TLJ and it went out of its way to discredit certain things done in TLJ. Win-win. It was also mostly entertaining from a action movie standpoint. It was really the editorial differences that probably made it so disjointed but if you don't nitpick it too much it was fine.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 11:08 am to blueboy
quote:
You're a fricking hack, JJ.
I disagree here. JJ was brought in to fix a huge mess. He also had far less time for this film than he did for TFA. This is all on Disney. If they really cared about star wars, they would've postponed the film one year to fix the script.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 11:45 am to statman34
quote:It really wasn't.
It was a shite ton better than TLJ
quote:So what? Crap that discredits crap is still crap.
it went out of its way to discredit certain things done in TLJ
quote:No, it was the shitty writing. No amount of editing would have made it better.
It was really the editorial differences that probably made it so disjointed
Posted on 3/18/20 at 11:48 am to RLDSC FAN
quote:He failed.
JJ was brought in to fix a huge mess
JJ is a hack. Everything he does outside of mindless TV is worthless. He and many others are just hacks imitating Christopher Nolan. JJ adds lens flares.
I always have to laugh when I see him do interviews. He acts like he's some kind of mastermind genius, but the product tells another tale.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 11:59 am to blueboy
I'm only speaking about Ep 9. Disney had no plans for this trilogy. They completely fricked it up.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 1:06 pm to blueboy
Last Jedi>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Rise of Skywalker
Posted on 3/18/20 at 2:08 pm to CBandits82
Downvote away but I really liked RoS
Sue me. Way better than TLJ IMO
Sue me. Way better than TLJ IMO
This post was edited on 3/18/20 at 3:16 pm
Posted on 3/18/20 at 2:42 pm to dallastiger55
I did too, but that isn't popular here.
It did as well as it was going to in trying to completely write over TLJ.
It did as well as it was going to in trying to completely write over TLJ.
Posted on 3/18/20 at 4:24 pm to Rep520
Being a little better than TLJ doesn't make it good. And in some ways, it's not. Like I said, it really feels like it was written by little kids.
In a way, I suppose it was.
In a way, I suppose it was.
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