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Favorite Simpsons Quotes
Posted on 8/19/09 at 9:43 am
Posted on 8/19/09 at 9:43 am
Watched a bunch of Simpsons in the last few days, here are a few gems I forgot about:
"I'm like the man who single-handedly built the rocket and flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed?"
On the gay episode: "They're embarrassing America! They turned the Navy into a floating joke! They ruined all our best names like Lance and Bruce and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had!"
"Kids, you tried your best...And you failed miserably. The moral is: Never try."
"I'm like the man who single-handedly built the rocket and flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed?"
On the gay episode: "They're embarrassing America! They turned the Navy into a floating joke! They ruined all our best names like Lance and Bruce and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had!"
"Kids, you tried your best...And you failed miserably. The moral is: Never try."
12
Posted on 8/19/09 at 9:54 am to mceuph
"He Lisa, Hi Principal Skinner, Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers." - Ralph Wiggum
Posted on 8/19/09 at 9:55 am to mceuph
I like when they're at the military airshow and the guy is talking in ridiculous military speak:
Tour guide: At this point in time, I would like to direct your attention to the particular air vehicle next to which I am currently standing. The Harrier Jet is one of our more dollar-intensive ordnance delivery vectors.
And, although it looks complicated it is so well-designed,even a child could fly it.
Lisa: Can I fly it?
Guide: Of course you cannot.
Tour guide: At this point in time, I would like to direct your attention to the particular air vehicle next to which I am currently standing. The Harrier Jet is one of our more dollar-intensive ordnance delivery vectors.
And, although it looks complicated it is so well-designed,even a child could fly it.
Lisa: Can I fly it?
Guide: Of course you cannot.
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:13 am to Tiger JJ
For some reason this one has always stuck with me:
quote:Oh, and this one:
Marge: Oh! A punchbowl like that just screams good taste. Wouldn't it be perfect for the dinner party?
Homer: Oh, we can't afford that. Who do you think I am, Liz Taylor?
Marge: Well, maybe we could use it once and then return it.
Homer: Marge, we're not talking about a toothbrush here.
quote:
Marge : You don't have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along.
Homer : You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people.
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:13 am to Tiger JJ
Ralph-"Me fail English? That's unpossible"
Homer-"Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems."
And my favorite Homer-"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
Homer-"Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems."
And my favorite Homer-"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
This post was edited on 8/19/09 at 10:16 am
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:24 am to Freauxzen
quote:
Ralph Wiggum
quote:
"He Lisa, Hi Principal Skinner, Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers." - Ralph Wiggum
/thread. He has the best...
Miss Hoover: "Children take out your red crayon"
Ralph: "Miss Hoover, I ate my red crayon"
This post was edited on 8/19/09 at 10:25 am
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:27 am to STEVED00
quote:
Miss Hoover: "Children take out your red crayon"
Ralph: "Miss Hoover, I ate my red crayon"
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:31 am to Freauxzen
Homer- "You know me Marge, I like my TV loud, my beer cold, and my homosexuals FLAMING!"
This post was edited on 8/19/09 at 11:13 am
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:36 am to Lexo
Marge, it takes 2 to lie - one to lie and one to listen.
Posted on 8/19/09 at 10:51 am to Tiger JJ
From the gummy venus episode, don't remember the exact quote but I laugh everytime I think about it
Reporter: So we understand that you're running an ilegal prostitution ring out of your barn?
Cletus like character: Nope, just me and the cows.
Reporter: So where are the whores?
Cletus like character: 'Round back... ooops
Reporter: So we understand that you're running an ilegal prostitution ring out of your barn?
Cletus like character: Nope, just me and the cows.
Reporter: So where are the whores?
Cletus like character: 'Round back... ooops
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:07 am to Tiger JJ
quote:
Marge, it takes 2 to lie - one to lie and one to listen.
Remember the episode when Marge asked him if he was panhandling!
Homer - "Marge, I am not going to lie to you!" He then returns to reading his paper without saying a word!
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:12 am to mceuph
Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:18 am to Wildcat
quote:
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!" — Ralph Wiggum
This post was edited on 8/19/09 at 11:18 am
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:21 am to Wildcat
quote:
Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Reminds me of the Family Guy when Peter is informed of a deadline:
Peter: When is it due?
Person: In 3 days.
Peter: 3 Days!?!?!? That's TOMORROW!
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:24 am to Wildcat
Homer on the phone: "Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
Marge: Homer! Wath your mouth
Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening.
and also...
Homer: But how did you find me?
Marge: Well, I was sure you'd be on foot, because you always say public transportation is for losers. And I was sure you'd head west, because Springfield slopes down that way. And then, I saw the lighthouse, and I remembered how you love blinking lights. Like the one on the waffle iron.
Homer: Or that little guy on the "Don't Walk" sign.
Marge: Homer! Wath your mouth
Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening.
and also...
Homer: But how did you find me?
Marge: Well, I was sure you'd be on foot, because you always say public transportation is for losers. And I was sure you'd head west, because Springfield slopes down that way. And then, I saw the lighthouse, and I remembered how you love blinking lights. Like the one on the waffle iron.
Homer: Or that little guy on the "Don't Walk" sign.
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:32 am to Mavtiger
quote:
Cletus
From the Homer becomes the garbage man:
"I think I done broke my stinkbone"
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:44 am to danfraz
Some of my favorites have come from Abe:
My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock! Ooo, It's on now
Marge: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it
Grandpa: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!
The only SEC reference I can ever remember from the show is pretty good too.
Homer: Don't worry, honey. We can't afford this now, but when it's time, I promise my darling daughter can go to the finest school there is ... in South Carolina.
Lisa: Oh! I will not be a Gamecock!
My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock! Ooo, It's on now
Marge: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it
Grandpa: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!
The only SEC reference I can ever remember from the show is pretty good too.
Homer: Don't worry, honey. We can't afford this now, but when it's time, I promise my darling daughter can go to the finest school there is ... in South Carolina.
Lisa: Oh! I will not be a Gamecock!
Posted on 8/19/09 at 11:55 am to PJinAtl
A couple of my favorites:
Homer: "Flowers...the painted whores of the plant world."
Homer in the bank talking to his "kids" behind the tree:
Homer behind tree using child's voice: Daddy, can we have some candy?
Homer in plain view of banker: No kids, not before dinner.
Behind tree: Well at least get some candy for yourself!
Homer: "Flowers...the painted whores of the plant world."
Homer in the bank talking to his "kids" behind the tree:
Homer behind tree using child's voice: Daddy, can we have some candy?
Homer in plain view of banker: No kids, not before dinner.
Behind tree: Well at least get some candy for yourself!
Posted on 8/19/09 at 12:01 pm to SaintLSUnAtl
Moe "I am a well wisher in that I don't wish you any express harm."
Posted on 8/19/09 at 12:20 pm to mceuph
Robbers come into the Quikee Mart.
Homer jumps into chip stand.
Robbers take Apu's money and leave.
Apu to Homer :
"Your chance to be a hero has long since passed.
You may now emerge from my chips."
Homer jumps into chip stand.
Robbers take Apu's money and leave.
Apu to Homer :
"Your chance to be a hero has long since passed.
You may now emerge from my chips."
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