The Worst Teams In All The Land -- CFB

This is always an interesting post to do. I'm a bit fascinated by putridity as much as I am with greatness. So, without further adieu, here is my bottom 10 of the FBS:

121. South Alabama: This was the trickiest entry of the bunch as I felt I could have gone several ways with this one. There just really wasn't a clear cut ten worst teams. Rather, there is a clear cut nine worst teams. I think there is a significant bump up from bottom 9 to here.

The Jaguars have several really bad losses from a margin-of-loss perspective, but they haven't been just absolutely destroyed by any terrible teams. The worst two teams they have played are Texas State and Alabama State, and they won both of those games. They got annihilated by Appy State, but Appy State is legit. They got beat pretty bad by memphis and really bad by Oklahoma State. They kept it close against La. Tech. But then they did get worked over real bad by a Ga. So. team that eeked out a win against terrible Texas State. That was the game was dispositive in my decision to put them in this spot.

They get Troy at home next Tuesday for their next game. Troy lost to Liberty, so you never know.

Tangentially related: I like this song: Lykke Li -- Jaguars in the Air


122. Rutgers: it's rare that a P5 team makes it on this list, but this Rutgers is certainly rare in their terribleness. It's remarkable, really. They just can't set the spreads high enough for this outfit. The Scarlet Knights started off the year with a nice 35-7 over Terrible Texas State, but since then it's as if they've been having a contest to see how bad they can lose. Only one game has been respectable, and that was to an Indiana team that is terrible in their own right. I mean, hell, Rutgers even lost to a fricking atrocious Illinois team 38-17. At home.

The remaining scorelines are comical. 52-3 against tOSU. 55-14 against flipping Kansas. 42-13 to Buffalo out of the MAC. 34-17 to Maryland.

Next up: Northwestern at home this coming Saturday.


123: Kent State: I have the Golden Flashes as the second worst team in the MAC. Their lone win was over focking Howard, and they've taken bad losses on the road against Hipster Miami and Ball State. They actually might get one more win as they have Bowling Green on the road coming up in two weeks. That one will be a cripple fight for the ages.

Next up: at home against the Akron Zips this coming Saturday.


124: Texas State; I've mentioned the Bobcats twice already and noted that they were terrible. In fact, they aren't quite as terrible as I wish they were. I had a small play on Ga. So, to cover -17.5 on encouragement from the guy in the cfb betting thread who says he has a standing bet fading Texas State every week. The fact that someone has such a standing bet speaks volumes, but unfortunately either Ga. So. didn't come to play, Texas State isn't as bad thought, or the Bobcats just brought their A game. Either way, they kept it very tight and lost to the Eagles by the competitive scoreline of 15-13.

Indeed, TSU's M.O. isn't that they are on the receiving end of lopsided scorelines, but they they've just lost to some bad teams. The one lopsided scoreline they did have was to the aforementioned atrocious Rutgers Scarlet knights to the tune of 35-7. Other than that they've take an Ell to South Bama, ULL, and UTSA.

Next up: on the road against ULM this coming Saturday.


125: New Mexico State: The Aggies are an absolute staple of this list. I cant' remember a time when I've made this list that they haven't been on it. Usually they are in the bottom three or so....so biggie up to them for being all on the come up and shiz. They actually have two wins on the season, and one of those has to be considered a "good" win, relatively speaking -- a 49-41 win against a plucky Liberty team. The other win was a 27-20 win over mere UTEP (more on them later).

The conference-less Aggies may get two more wins this season, and definitely one more against Alcorn State. Btw, why is this team not in a conference? Did they get booted out of one? Did nobody wanna pick them up? Poor guys.

Next up. at home this Saturday against Ga. So.


126: UTEP: to their credit, the Miners haven't been getting totally destroyed. Indeed, they are 3-3 ATS with a +2 margin against the line. But they do keep losing, and to bad teams, so this is as high as I can put them. They had a valiant effort in their last game against North Texas at home, losing only 27-24.

But they do remain the second worst team in an unspeakably bad Conference USA -- the worst conference in all the land in my humble estimation.

Next up: on the road against Louisiana Tech.


127: Bowling Green: Biggie ups to the Falcons for scheduling some tough OOC teams, but they just keep getting their asses handed to them. And then they aren't exactly rocking out with their cock out against conference foes, going 03 against Hipster Miami, Western Michigan, and Toledo. Nice win over Eastern Kentucky doe. Lololololol.

They went and got their coach fired: https://www.toledoblade.com/sports/BGSU/2018/10/14/bowling-green-falcons-fires-head-football-coach-mike-jinks/stories/20181014152. The infamous Hot Carl Pelini will be taking over the helm.

Next up: on the road against Ohio this coming Saturday.


128: UConn: pulling up the rear in a pretty decent AAC conference is this Huskies squad. Their lone win comes against Rhode Island at home in a nail biter. In every other game, they have just gotten the frick beat out of them. Simple as that.

Next up: on the road against the Fighting Charlie Strongs of USF.


129: San Jose State: I could honestly be talked into this team as the absolute worst in the land. It was basically a coin flip between them and the team discussed below. The worst team out of the Mountain West, the Spartans lost by 12 at home to the second worst team in Colorado State. And that was probably their most respectable outing of the year. Last week they lost 52-3 to Army. Yuck.

Next up: on the road against San Diego State


130. Rice: This is another team that has made this list every single goddamn time I've done it. This isn't just a team that stinks; it's a program that reeks even worse than my nuts do. Their lone win on the year is at home against focking Prairie View A&M by the whopping margin of 31-28. Abysmal. Their best performance of the season is probably a two touchdown loss at Hawaii. In their worst outing, the Owls got blanked by UAB, to the tune of 0-42. Ouch.

They do have a home game coming up against a fellow terrible C-USA team in UTEP. Oh man, that's gotta be the cripple fight of the entire season.

Next up: on the road against FIU this week.


I believe that brings this to a conclusion. Let me know if/where you disagree with my ranking. Would love to hear your thoughts.