Not a Nega-Tiger but…I love watching LSU Football.

Sports entertainment is supposed to bring people together to celebrate something that, in the grand scheme of things, is not that important. But let me tell you why we haven’t had much to feel good about lately.


GREASY GRIMESY

Jeff Grimes was appointed on January 21, 2014 and a couple of running backs have had phenominal success over the last few seasons. But is it any coincidence that the utter stiflling of the offensive production against Alabama began during Grimes’ tenure? And AL’s success has been reduplicated by several teams (notably Arkansas) during that tenure. Let me tell you why.

Every time I watch LSU play, I pay special attention to the offensive line. Go back and watch any game during the last two years. When LSU linemen block, their helmets rest on top of the helmets of the D-Line. It’s called leverage; it’s the most basic concept of run blocking; yet, when we have “Tell-the-Truth Mondays,” we never even consider having our linemen bend at the waist. Alabama saw this three seasons ago, decided to bullrush it with their defensive linemen, and have taken up residence in the LSU backfield on every play since then. But doesn’t a defensive line always try to bullrush? No. Many use “butt-and-separate” to get off their blocks and move laterally. Who knew that MSU and Troy could simply take to run blitzing (or pass blitzing, apparently it makes no difference now) and make it look like only one team is playing “big boy” football?


WOE CANADA

But at least in the past we had a one guy, a Fullback, crushing MLBs on the “Iso” with leverage and intensity. Now we have none. Matt Canada has removed the Fullback, flanking him over beside the Tight End, and using whatever lead block he has to offer on the edge guy (DE, OLB, or SS) instead of the MLB. [Cudos to Tory Carter, btw, for doing this very well on goal line.] That’s why every time we run the ball, we have to run outside. That’s why Booger MacFarland calls the team soft. Les Miles has spent the last decade stockpiling prototypical Guards to be “maulers” and implementing an inside-out gameplan, but now our offensive philosophy is to play the game on the perimeter. Canada’s philosophy is meant for a school that cannot manhandle superior competition, but when LSU plays against a team that sees and/or implements this style every single week, the Tigers forfeit the advantage of experience. It’s not that our offensive linemen aren’t strong; it’s that they have their strengths nullified by the upright zone blocking of Jeff Grimes and the playcalling style of Matt Canada. Please, go watch Trai Turner manhandling MLBs back when we could still score a point on AL.


JOE-GERON

I wonder if Derek Ponamsky put something in those binders about 1) demoralizing and losing the respect of the upper classmen by replacing them with freshmen and 2) having historically bad losses to Mississippi State and Troy before Ed Orgeron presented them to Joe Alleva. Is there any better way to communicate to the public that this is a throw-away season? “Yeah Joe, just wait until we get to year 2 with the latest recruiting class and then replace their attrition with a subsequent haul of 2-3 star products we get the next!” Joe must have responded, “Wow, take our money!”


THE “STUDENT” ATHLETE

But we can’t place all the blame on the coaches. Certainly, they haven’t been telling their players to commit a dozen penalties per game. Certainly, they haven’t been coaching their linebackers and safeties to have a little pow-wow in the C-gap when the ball carrier is running through the B-gap.

Many, if not most, of the mistakes have been committed by upper classmen. Why do these guys do stupid things in the offseason so that they get a 6-week vacation at the beginning of the season? What is up with John Battle nesting in his blind while ducks fly right past him? And how do you go soul searching all summer long only to find a truckload of cheeseburgers? Seriously, has he been shotgunning cans of Cheese Whiz?

The underclassmen haven’t proven so studious either. When Devin White criticized players of not spending the appropriate time studying, he may have been rebuking the starters, but I think he was criticizing the true freshmen of doing the same thing he was guilty of last year. Remember when he admitted not studying and preparing himself like he should have until he knew he was going to start against Louisville? Now, while Tyler Taylor has been getting significant reps at the Mack and relief at the Rover position has often been given to Jonathan Rucker. Where is Jacob Phillips? We rarely have a JP sighting because even though he is physically ready to thump the ball carrier, the #1MLB recruit is not ready between the earholes of his helmet.


HEY, I HOPE THAT MADE YOU…

Feel better? Yes. No. Maybe. If you can give us something to celebrate, that will make me feel better. But until then we can only hope that Florida out-loses us. How does that make you feel?