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CIA Replaces Waterboarding With 12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism
Posted on 5/5/21 at 3:01 pm
Posted on 5/5/21 at 3:01 pm
LINK
According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism.
"Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective," said the anonymous source. "But that's been replaced now. Now we just pop in a tape of Robin DiAngelo, Stacey Abrams, or Joy Behar. Sometimes we'll really ramp things up and make them watch Coca-Cola's diversity training on a 12-hour loop."
Terror suspects will be subjected to lengthy lectures about cis-male privilege, heteronormative patriarchy, and microaggressive mansplaining. Sources say these lectures are 1,282% more effective than regular old waterboarding.
Critics have criticized the new interrogation method, saying that such cruel torture should be limited only to American universities.
According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism.
"Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective," said the anonymous source. "But that's been replaced now. Now we just pop in a tape of Robin DiAngelo, Stacey Abrams, or Joy Behar. Sometimes we'll really ramp things up and make them watch Coca-Cola's diversity training on a 12-hour loop."
Terror suspects will be subjected to lengthy lectures about cis-male privilege, heteronormative patriarchy, and microaggressive mansplaining. Sources say these lectures are 1,282% more effective than regular old waterboarding.
Critics have criticized the new interrogation method, saying that such cruel torture should be limited only to American universities.
Posted on 5/5/21 at 3:54 pm to Crimson Wraith
I would like to take this opportunity to preemptively confess to whatever.
Posted on 5/5/21 at 4:12 pm to Crimson Wraith
I'd rather be waterboarded.
Posted on 5/5/21 at 4:21 pm to Crimson Wraith
Saw this earlier and had to resist the temptation to share in my non-anonymous circles.
I don't care who you are, that is funny is frick. And if it isn't you take yourself way too seriously.
I don't care who you are, that is funny is frick. And if it isn't you take yourself way too seriously.
Posted on 5/5/21 at 4:36 pm to Crimson Wraith
This has to be a violation of the Geneva Convention or at least 4th amendment!
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