Lsu 2012 Football Schedule Preview - Week 1

North Texas Mean Green

Last year, the Mean Green of North Texas ranked 81st in the nation in points scored against a schedule that had only two ranked opponents. They averaged about 200 yards in the air, and 150 on the ground per game. Gone, is their 1,100 yard rusher, Dance Lumbar or something. Derek Thompson is manning the helm for the Greenie Dog Treats. Look for his name to be called early and often, in exclamations such as, "DT, sacked by Keke Mingo!" and, "DT, brought down again by Sonic Sam and The Freak!". Thompson or whoever is a second year starter, and probably will get injured, paving the way for pure incineration by the Tigers.

On defense, the Mean Green Shitstain returns 4 of their top 11 tacklers from last year on a defense that gave up almost 31 points per game, against nobody. They did have the misfortune of playing Alabama, but at 41-0, it's clear the dogs were called off.

Positional Comparison
Qb - Lsu is the Russian, and NT is Apollo. What starts out as a joke, will turn into a disaster.
HB - Lsu Godzilla, NT one Japanese tank. Both teams will utilize RB by committee, one far better than the other.
WR/TE - NT returns two WRs with solid experience. It's a fricking shame that The Honeybadger is going to assrape one, while Simon skullfricks the other. Whoops, I mean, adv. LSU.
OL - One team can rotate six who can start anywhere in the US of A. The other has a bench full of fatties. I'll let you sort out this one.
Defense - Remember when the NWO first banded together, and you would get like six guys kicking the dogshit out of one guy, then tagging him with spraypaint, then going home and F'ing his wife? Or do you remember when that turnbuckle punched Owen Hart in the face so hard he died? Yeah, that's Lsu. NT's defense is your standard Fit Finnley looking jobber they used to send out for Goldberg to kill.

Final Verdict:
Pain.