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Cosmopolitan explains:How To Give Your Partner a Rusty Trombone the Right Way

Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:47 am
Posted by Placebeaux
Bobby Fischer Fan Club President
Member since Jun 2008
51852 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:47 am
WTF

1. Talk with your partner about if/how the RT will play out.

2. Have your partner clean up, but they don't need to douche.

3. You might want to take off your lipstick for this one.

4. Play an overture before you get to the trombone symphony (ugh sorry, foreplay, I'm talking about how you should do foreplay).

5. You can use lube on both sides, but definitely use it for at least the hand job.

6. Steer clear of bacteria and STIs.

7. Have your partner stand or lie on their back.

8. Use flat, wide tongue strokes.

9. Improve your HJ game by trying twisting motions, the "infinite hole" technique, and frenulum stimulation.

10. Ask your partner to return the favor.



Posted by SidewalkDawg
Chair
Member since Nov 2012
9943 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:49 am to
It's about god damn time Cosmopolitan actually did women a service.
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
85150 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:49 am to
You put a lot of work into this thread. Have an upvote
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34633 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:49 am to
This was absolutely disgusting to read while I was blowing up the toilet at work
Posted by Trout Bandit
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2012
13730 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:51 am to
Listen...if a chick wants to lick my arse, I'm not going to stop her but it takes a special butthole for me to return the favor.
Posted by Scooba
Member since Jun 2013
19999 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:52 am to
E for Effort
Posted by BigPerm30
Member since Aug 2011
27128 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:54 am to
I've never had my a-hole eaten. Is it that good?
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:57 am to
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I've never had my arse licked.

By a female
Posted by Martini
Near Athens
Member since Mar 2005
48934 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:57 am to
No Alabama Hot Pocket no care.
Posted by etm512
Mandeville, LA
Member since Aug 2005
20859 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:58 am to
Author of that article really putting that journalism degree to work
Posted by TheAlmightySmash
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2014
5482 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:01 am to
quote:

Ask your partner to return the favor.


What would you even call this? Rusty trumpet?
Posted by TJGator1215
FL/TN
Member since Sep 2011
14174 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:03 am to
Women are vile kinky creatures. Underneath all that make up and good girl charade is a sewage filled reservoir of bdsm and whore behaviors. That's why marriage and having children is a terrible idea.
Posted by HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Member since Jul 2011
30330 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:05 am to
Cleveland Steamer best practices to be included in next month's issue
Posted by REB BEER
Laffy Yet
Member since Dec 2010
16502 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:05 am to
I'm not even sure I want to know what a Rusty Trombone is
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:13 am to
Bravo
Posted by GurleyGirl
Georgia
Member since Nov 2015
13341 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:19 am to
The best part about this thread is your gif selection.
Posted by LSUweights
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2014
3558 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:57 am to
for your effort and gifs


quote:

I've never had my a-hole eaten. Is it that good?


It's not better than getting head....



But it's ok...
Posted by boxcarbarney
Above all things, be a man
Member since Jul 2007
23450 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 9:19 am to
The worst part of the article is this picture. Why are these assholes playing match grip?

Posted by tigerbait2010
PNW
Member since May 2006
29872 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 9:27 am to
quote:

"See if they're open to trying it," sex educator and former porn performer Kelly Shibari advises. "If they are, discuss everything from cleanliness to how far they're willing to go — rimming only? Rimming and a tongue in there? Rimming and a finger? No tongue-rimming but they're cool with a lubed finger circling the outside?" Get super specific, then stay the course when the action starts unless you talk about switching it up.




such a deep discussion
Posted by maxxrajun70
baton rouge
Member since Oct 2011
3726 posts
Posted on 2/23/17 at 9:40 am to
Stanley steamer
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