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Started By
Message
Man Living In Micro Home Not Getting Laid
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:38 pm
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:38 pm
LINK
quote:
TOFINO, BRITISH COLUMBIA - As a result of attempts to reduce his carbon footprint, local male Colby Richmond has also drastically reduced his vagina footprint. “My hipster friends were ‘liking’ a lot of posts about micro homes on Facebook. So, I framed up a house on a flat deck trailer.”
The 300 square foot dwelling is fully portable, equipped with solar panel roofing, and features a tastefully finished interior.
“I sleep up there in the bunk. But as you can see, that pretty much rules out doggy style or cowgirl. I pulled off missionary once, but got a lot slivers in my back from the tongue and grove cedar on the ceiling. Spooning is basically the only option, but I feel like that really only gets used in porn cuz of the good camera angles.”
And Mr. Richmond isn’t the only one affected by the micro home libido scrooge. “My buddy Todd made a micro home out of shipping container, and I have to admit, it’s kinda ‘rapey’.
Still, the trend towards micro homes has ignited an important debate on the principles we value as a society.
“The toilet is fully composting, but women are terribly self-conscious about you knowing that they shite. I had one girl over, and I’m pretty sure she left just because she had to shite. The bathroom door is paper thin, and in that tiny bathroom, a toilet is basically just an amphitheatre for your farts”.
On whether he planned to continue occupying the cock blocking abode, Richmond solemnly confided, “I shoulda bought my uncle’s Winnebago, could at least get head while I’m driving.”
nb4satire
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:40 pm to JOJO Hammer
I thought people like this loved to have sex and shite outside?
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:41 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:.
. “My hipster friends were ‘liking’ a lot of posts about micro homes on Facebook.
Good reason to change your life.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:44 pm to JOJO Hammer
a toilet is basically just an amphitheatre for your farts”.
now that is just pure poetry right there
now that is just pure poetry right there
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:45 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:
“My hipster friends were ‘liking’ a lot of posts about micro homes on Facebook.
Flaw #1
No way hipsters are using Facebook.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:47 pm to fightin tigers
Satire but still true tho.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:47 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:
and in that tiny bathroom, a toilet is basically just an amphitheatre for your farts”.
I was doing Ok until I got to that part.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:56 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:
“The toilet is fully composting, but women are terribly self-conscious about you knowing that they shite. I had one girl over, and I’m pretty sure she left just because she had to shite. The bathroom door is paper thin, and in that tiny bathroom, a toilet is basically just an amphitheatre for your farts”.
quote:
it’s kinda ‘rapey’
Posted on 3/24/15 at 2:58 pm to Darth_Vader
quote:
I was doing Ok until I got to that part.
contemplating a sig quote change
Posted on 3/24/15 at 3:11 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:
toilet is basically just an amphitheatre for your farts”.
When I make a billion dollars and can afford to build my own house I will dedicate one room to be my amphitheater of farts. I will go there to unleash hell upon my soiled boxers
Posted on 3/24/15 at 3:12 pm to weedGOKU666
Does anyone have any suggestions for maximizing a rooms acoustic potential for really low, gravely farts?
Posted on 3/24/15 at 3:12 pm to JOJO Hammer
If this little, tiny house ain't a rockin' - please come a knockin'.
Pretty please - with sugar on top...
I have money - I just didn't spend any on this little tiny house.
Pretty please - with sugar on top...
I have money - I just didn't spend any on this little tiny house.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 3:17 pm to JOJO Hammer
First world problems to the max. Do none of these chicks he wants to rail have their own place?
Posted on 3/24/15 at 3:21 pm to JOJO Hammer
What would be wrong with something like this?
262 sqft log cabin, full bedroom, bathroom, open kitchen and living room.
Under 40k, wouldnt be that bad.
262 sqft log cabin, full bedroom, bathroom, open kitchen and living room.
Under 40k, wouldnt be that bad.
This post was edited on 3/24/15 at 3:21 pm
Posted on 3/24/15 at 3:57 pm to oR33Do
quote:
262 sqft log cabin
quote:
full bedroom
Someone doesn't understand what the word full means.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 4:07 pm to oR33Do
I would rather live in a trailer.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 4:08 pm to MrLarson
quote:
Someone doesn't understand what the word full means.
Then explain it to me?
And why would anyone want to live in a trailer?
This post was edited on 3/24/15 at 4:09 pm
Posted on 3/24/15 at 4:33 pm to JOJO Hammer
He lives at the remote tip of the end of the world. There are almost 1900 other people there. If a third are married, a third are children, a fourth have a significant other, and he has dated 5% already, pickings are slim.
I bet he drunk dials a lot of exes.
I bet he drunk dials a lot of exes.
Posted on 3/24/15 at 4:35 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:
Spooning is basically the only option, but I feel like that really only gets used in porn cuz of the good camera angles.”
Clearly, dude doesn't understand female anatomy.
Posted on 1/18/23 at 7:45 pm to JOJO Hammer
quote:
The 300 square foot dwelling
Lol! Right after college I lived in a 340 sqft apartment. Still got laid.
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